step into my world

Revelation

2012-02-04T12:00:00.001+08:00

I think i just realized something..i think i can see things clearly now..i can think rationally..i hope i will make the right decision..the right move..i don't want to have any regret..

2012-01-31T21:15:00.001+08:00

Only He,the Almighty who knows how bad i'm hurting deep inside right now..ya Allah,please give me strength to live on..

Can't sleep

2012-01-31T01:15:00.001+08:00

I guess i need sleeping pills..i always have trouble sleeping..i'm not sure since when i developed this thing..but it sure ain't doing any good..i'm constantly having headaches due to sleep deprivation n not enough rest..it is tiring..i'm not sure whats the cause of not able to sleep..mayb i have a brain dat cannot stop thinking..haha..i do admit i do think a lot..sometimes i think way too much..
Tonyt..like the rest of the other night i can't sleep..when i'm about to doze off immediately my brain pick up something new to think about..brain,please rest..i need rest!!!i think i need to search n experiment ways to make me sleep..
I do admit the way that i am now as a person a part of it is based on experience..i do had experienced a break-in at my old house..that incident is one of the reason i can't really have a good night sleep..i can easily wake up if there's even a slightest sound..that incident had made a such a light sleeper..i hate it..i always woke up in the middle if the night..i don't why..i can't really fall asleep if there's a disturbing sound..its hard..its hard to not be able to sleep..it is frustrating..i need help~

Holidays~

2012-01-26T16:35:00.001+08:00

I'm on holiday..company gave us 1 week of holiday for the chinese new year..however,had nothing better to do than just lying ard doing nothing..and definitely thinking..ppl always say do not regret..don't ever haf any regret for the things that happened..instead,be strong and move onn improve..learn from mistakes..however,i have a lot of things i do regret doing..particularly this one thing..i regretted it every time i dis it..however,i don't have the courage or energy to fight it and stop doing the things i've done..i definitely know i'll end up hurting..and as a matter of fact,i am already hurting..i will never stop hurting unless i'll take a leap of faith and say enough is enough..mayb at that moment i'll hurt the most..however,i will be able to move on..i need to take dat..i need encouragment..i need help..i need ppl to tell me that everything's gonna be okay..i need dat kind of assurance..

2012-01-16T22:08:00.001+08:00

I thought everything settled..everything stopped..i guess its not..urghhh..i am super stress!!!

New aquaintance

2011-12-28T01:12:00.001+08:00

Getting to know new peole is very interesting..the process that we go thru is definitely awesome..i can say dat i'm going thru dat process..the curiosity..the excitement..it is something dat u can't get any other way..
The fragile bonding u haf no idea the outcome..u'll never know what's going to hapen..the constant worrying whether u've crossed the line or not..the unstoppable questions flowing thru ur brain..i simply love it..i never thought getting to know other people can be this fun..mayb there more to that than just being aquaintances..mayb..who knows though..so,please don't ever stop getting to know other people..hihi

2011-12-20T19:52:00.001+08:00

Saya tak larattttt~

Stupid

2011-12-20T18:27:00.001+08:00

Wut did i get myself into??i am bloody fucking stupid..morron..i am selfish..the worst person ever..how can i do dat??omg..i don't understand myself..i can say right now dat i am such a bitch..i need to change..completely transform myself..i need to refrain n repent..i really am sorry for the things dat i've done..i don't mean any of it..it juz happened..i don't plan any of it for sure..and also i can't refrain myself..urghhh..i am so pissed n mad at myself..u,i am terribly sorry!!!

2011-12-11T22:30:00.001+08:00

Emotionally unstable due to unexplainable stress..

Campurhaduk kehidupanku

2011-12-09T01:42:00.001+08:00

I've been having sleeping problem..i dunno y i haf teouble sleeping..i am definitely tired..my eyes are tired..my brain is drained with tiredness..and yet,when i'm ready for bed i can't seem to fall asleep..insomniac..hahhaa..
Cop,mls plak nk blogging..sambung later laa.

happy~

2011-12-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

my last post i was writing about me going back home..yup, i'm home..i'm loving every minute of it..i got to spend time with my mom.. there's this one night i had mother daughter time.. we talked n goss for hours..we end up sleeping at 3 am..i missed those times..
so, i'm currently in a happy state..just one week ago, we Muslims celebrated new year.. and i really am hoping that this new year i'll change to become a better person.. hijrah.. first and foremost, i'm trying to lose all those extra weight that I've been carrying for a few years..the extra which was a LOT!!i managed to lose 10 kg so far.. I still have a very long and gruesome way to go.. I need to do this.. I need to take care of myself.. I need to be healthy.. i'm currently trying very hard. cutting back on sugars n rice.. breakfast is definitely a must.. lunch i ate a bit.. n skipping dinner or mayb i just eat fruits.. that's the whole routine so far.. i really need to start exercising.. that is the best way to lose weight and haf a great body.. SOON!!!
next in line, i really am trying not to skip any solat.. really need courage and determination.. however, i missed subuh this morning.. i thought i've set my alarm at 6.30am.. when i woke up, its already 7.30..when i checked my phone, i din realized that i only set the alarm for weekdays only..damn..this morning, i started to learn quran again.. an ustaz came to my aunt's place and all of us learn from the ustaz.. i hope i can learn a lot from him.. and improve my reading..
hijab??or known as tudung..well, how about we do it step by step.. don't wanna rush..slowly..bit by bit..maybe one day, i'll come to dat point where i'm willing to wear hijab all by myself not because people force me to..
next cerita..two of my friends are pregnant.. i am absolutely thrilled!!! extremely happy for them.. however, at the same time a bit of envy and jealous.. i want to be married.. i want to be pregnant.. SOON...i know.. i really hope someday, i'll find a guy who's worth marrying and live happily ever after.. cliche...haha.. seriously, i want to get married..

I'm coming home..

2011-10-24T22:03:00.001+08:00

For those who know me,i'm currently living wih my aunty..even though my mom is living 5 minutes away..i do have my reasons..valid reasons..however,that's about to change..i'm going back home..me gonna stay back with my mom dis wednesday..y??i have my reasons..i don't feel it's safe to write my reasons here..i don't want to offend anybody..my situation is complicated enough..i don't want to make it even worse..dis wednesday,i will officially come back home then i need to make a lot of changes..i need to buy a lot of things for my room..it has been nearly 2 years i stayed at my aunt's..i love staying there..mainly i have my cousins n we've been really close..i have somebody to talk to..however,due to some circumstances i thing its better for me to go home..
Next,i've been talking to my mom..i think i want to move forward.by saying that,i mean i think i want to search for a new job..i want new experiences..i want real resposibilities..i want to do something i love..something exciting..i want to feel work satisfaction..i know i'll be stressed out n everything..but,i think it'll be worth it..i think i need to be independant..i don't want to rely on other people..i think i'm old enough to take sucha huge step..i want to move forward because lately i think i'm at equilibrium..constant..way too safe..
I hope ppl will pray for me..hope i can achieve what i want in life..

Continuation for holiday entry

2011-10-07T12:49:00.001+08:00

I know its been weeks..n i did promised to continue story mory bout my holiday..so,this is the continuation..
Last tym i was in osaka..my current location is usj 21,subang jaya..i mean malaysia laa.my trip to osaka..i went to universal studio..i juz write the gist of it..me haf GREAT fun!!!!seriously..i've been to disney n universal studio..comparison btwn the two..in disney,the rides wasn't that thrilling n interesting..but the scenery was awesome..loads of pretty places..however,in universal studio,there are loads of fun rides..n i did went on most of the rides..the best was Hollywood Dreams..awesome..two thumbs up!!hahaha..However,the scenery was ok laa..not as good as disney though..i love those two!!hahaha..
Next,we went to hakone glass garden..seriously,if u guys go to japan,please drop by at hakone..the scenery was awesome..pretty..there's a cafe in hakone glass garden n we ordered fruit tea..in love with the tea..we got free complimentary cakes from our hotel..we ordered the cakes..seriously deliciousness..no kidding!!!the souvenirs however are ridiculously expensive..hahaha..i only managed no afford is the correct word to buy fridge magnets for my sisters..hahaha..the souvenirs are all gorgeous though..geram gila kot..
I think dats about it..hehehe..

Holidaying~

2011-09-05T09:33:00.001+08:00

Is there such a word as holidaying..hahaha..sukati jer..i'm currently on holiday..in fact i'm in the car heading to osaka..yes,you're right..i'm in japan..i've been there before..this is my second tym in japan..d very first was in february..i really did enjoy myself very very much..first tym holding snow in my hands..i can't describe how the feeling was..but i love it..now i can say dat i love snow!!!i love winter eventhough its wet..hehe..i played snowboarding..man,i tell it was extremely hard!!for a beginner like me it took me a lot of courage and energy to just stand..don't even imagine to snowboard like the pros..the end result was my whole body was aching like hell!!but,despite the aching and all i really love it..and i hope i can snowboard again someday..
Last trip to japan i went to disney world tokyo..i had so much fun..this tym our trip is to osaka..there is universal studio in osaka..so,we're heading there..can't wait seriously!!before that,i have to endure 10 hours journey to osaka..osaka is situated way down south of tokyo..it definitely be a long n tiring journey..
One of the best thing in japan is uniqlo..haha..love it!!during weekends,they have this sale on a few items which come up really cheap..i bought a few for 500 yen each..which is about 18 ringgit per piece..how cheap is dat..i've already bought like a lot!!hahaha..dis tym i'm really in shopping mode..haha..
Next i love about japan is they hve the cutest things..u can find all sorts of cute things in the store..the things u can't even find in malaysia..seriously..geram kot!!i feel like buying them all..hahahaa...
I think,i've been rambling long enough..mayb later after i came back from osaka i'll update more..
Toodles~

2011-05-20T23:20:00.001+08:00

i am furious..
i am mad..
i am pissed off..

relive

2011-05-15T16:28:00.000+08:00

My bestfriend asked me one day during our outing.if i can relive my life,at what year you want to choose?
As for me, i love all my years that had gone by. But, i would like to change something. I would like to relive my life when I was 17 year-olds.i definitely want to change that. I would definitely study a tiny bit harder than before. I'll make sure that i got straight A's. I think my SPM results were the turning point of my life. I admit it wasn't that bad. But, i could have done a lot better. I'm not genius, but i'm not stupid either. So, with extra effort i'm sure i can get the results that i want. After i got the best results, then i will apply to study overseas. I really do want to study abroad.
Next, the thing i would like to change is I would like to learn driving as soon as i'm allowed to. I kind of regret i didn't take my driving license earlier. I definitely do want to change my life a bit. Its not like i have any regrets or i'm not thankful enough. Its just a thought. I'm grateful for what I already have. Mayb I would like to change a thing or two. Thats all..

Work..

2011-05-15T10:21:00.001+08:00

Its a very boring topic to write..however,i don't have any interesting topic to write..i am currently a research officer..i'm continuing some research..however,the research is still pending due to some technical problem..its already been a year and a half..i really hope the project will continue as soon as possible..i'm excited to see how far can this project go..i have a lot of faith in this project..i desperately want this project to be success..
Currently,i'm juggling 2 work at a time..i'm helping with the chocolate factory in the packaging department..the work is not that hard..its just,it took a lot of time to accomplish one thing...other than that,i like the work..i love to see how the company fluorish n become bigger n stronger..i feel honoured to be apart of that company..
Later,i would like to further my studies..i would like to study business..then,i would like to continue masters in chemical engineering..i have always keep this dream to study chemical engineering eventhough i know its hard..however,i would like to challenge myself n push myself and see how far can i go..
I know its a very boring entry..so,i'll end here before people start cursing me..hahahaha...

Stuffs..

2011-05-11T01:57:00.001+08:00

I think my blog ia where i can really share my feelings..i can pour out every thing thats been lingering in my mind n heart..currently,i am sad..i don't understand why people are who they are..i think there's no one in this world who truly know me except mayb a few..so,i hate it when people talk bad about me when they don't know me at all..it makes me sad when my own family accused me of something i am not..i know who i am..i know what kind of person i am..i honestly say,i'm not a saint..i don't have all the good qualities but i also do not have all the hateful characters..i can assure u that..
I hate it when people only listen to one side..not listening to both sides..that is why people make their own assumption n speculation..i am someone who is very sensitive..i hate it when people are mad at me..i hate it when people don't like me..or having fight with other people..that makes me sad..i hope when people are not satisfied with,they will talk to me..i can take advice n criticism..

LOVE

2011-05-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

LOVE is very subjective..very sensitive..very common..i myself not sure whether i have ever fall in love or not..anyways, i have a story for you guys..
there's a girl (any girl) and there's a boy (also any boy)..they have been in a relationship for quite sometimes. However, after years of on and off relationship, the boy felt very comfortable with the situation. The guy didn't even call or text the girl. For a while, the girl can take it and the girl was the one who's making the effort for the relationship to survive. One day, a new guy came along. The girl was given full attention that she longed for from her partner. the guy treated her well. The girl suddenly realized that she can't stand to be in a relationship with the first guy. Later, she broke off the relationship. In a very short period, the girl fell in love with the second guy because the way the guy treated her and all the attention that she get from the guy. At first, all her friends agreed that she broke up with her partner and agreed with her decision by accepting the second guy. Little that she know, the guy is actually the biggest player ever existed. He twisted words saying she already broke up with his girlfriend. The girl doesn't realize what actually happen. She's already head over heels over the guy. So, the situation is quite complicated because the girl is quite stubborn.
Moral of the story, if you ever want to be in a relationship with somebody, give it time. Do not rush into things.Get to know the other person first.
Love can be very simple and yet very complicated at the same time. How can people act as if love has no meaning and no value. How can people play with others' heart. It is cruel. As for me, love is very sacred. People should cherish the love and appreciate. However, don't make yourself a slave to love. If you do become a slave to love, then you may suffer a great heartache when the love went wrong somewhere.

bold

2011-05-01T12:43:00.000+08:00

i am being very bold by saying this, i am ready to get married...wahahhaha...
marriage is one huge thing to get oneself into..my perception bout marriage..marriage is a bout sharing..give and take..its a huge responsibility...u have to care for one another..sharing your life with the other person...marriage is something one has to prepare mentally and emotionally..
well, in my case, i think and let me rephrase, i THINK i'm ready to commit..i'm ready mentally and emotionally to share to take on d responsibility sharing my life with other person..i think i've grown up..huisyhhhh... who will he be???that is a huge question mark still lingering...i hope that somebody will come soon...n hope he'll be d greatest person ever....let's pray!!

date

2011-04-23T23:57:00.000+08:00

DATE A GIRL WHO READSby Rosemarie Urquico
(In response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date an Illiterate Girl)
_____
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Self

2011-04-21T10:06:00.001+08:00

I haven't been quite my ownself lately..maybe i've changed..but unfortunately,i hate the changes that i've gone through..coz the changes are not entirely good..i need to be my own self back..i need all my restrictions and selfreserved..i need to be introvert back..i dun need myself to be easily approached n easily being comfortable ard ppl..
I hate it if the same thing happens twice..god,that will be a total nightmare..i want myself to be kind of cold but not to cold person..hahaha..only me understand it i guess..hahahaha..
The old is not entirely good n not the best character..but i like the old me..i like me being in control at all time..eventhough i dun really smile a lot n very serious at all time..but i like the way i am before..however,lately i am easily approached which is not a bad thing but i dun like it..i need constraints..i need restrictions..i love being alone..wait,rephrase..its not alone as in alone..i am not the type who os hooha hooha i mean loud..i like my surrounding to be quiet n calm..wen its quiet n calm,i'll be more focus n i can think clearly..i need all that..so,please don't make me change into some else that i don't want to be..

teary birthday...

2011-01-17T10:35:00.000+08:00

today is my 26th birthday..i'm already 26..how fast time flies...anyways, don't be fool by the title..it is actually happy tears..last night we all celebrated my birthday n my cuz's wife bday too over a simple steamboat dinner at home..it was nice..i really enjoy the food..
after having dinner, we all sit down n watch my along n abg zaidi open all damia's presents...lots n lots of presents, seriously!!then, its my turn to cut the bday cake..well, at first there won't be any bday cake since we're in a strict budget..plus, we're all bored already...however, my auntie sed, takpe dia bli cake laa..so, ada laa cake nya...anywho, after cut2 cake, present time..well, honestly, i don't really expect anybody give me any present last night..i was totally n utterly taken by surprise..there's 2 gifts for me..yeay!!!i can't tell u what are the presents..however, i can assure you, this year i proudly announce is one of the bestest birthday ever..i get the bestest presents ever..thanks to all my family....

holiday..

2010-12-03T12:31:00.000+08:00

few of my frens started blogging again..as for me, i've taken quite a long rest from proper blogging..its true, there have been a lot of stuffs going dis past few months..i'm just too lazy to write..i won't be writing down the past..instead, for this entry i wud like to share my current passion..i love to travel!!

Places i want to go and the reason:

1. ~~Bandung~~ - to shop..which i've been there before.. And it was AWESOME...i love to go there again to shop and to enjoy the food..

2. Jakarta - to shop and just to experience the hectic life there.. people always say, tak pergi jakarta??haha..so, i really wud love to go there...

3. ~~Melbourne~~ - i've been there once. i totally love melbourne.. the weather, the people, the traffic wasn't hectic.. quite calm.. definitely the cheesecake...and Alan Pinkus!!!i really hope i get to go there again..

4. Japan - I really would love to go there. And in fact, i'll be going to Japan this February. Its gonna be awesome and super FAB..why?? because i used to hear a lot of Japan stories from my aunt and its totally FAB!!i really want to eat Japanese food, skateboarding. go to the glass garden. Owh,definitely going to the mall with all the digital gadget stuffs.

5. Thailand - i really would love to go n buy lots and lots of Thai silk..Thai silk is awesome and legend wait for it dary!!!totally adore Thai silk.

6. London - This is one of the place i definitely want to go..one of the reason is definitely shopping M&S, Lulu Guinness..and i really would love to go to Bath and places around..I really hope our plan to London is on next year..Pleaseeeeeee.....

7. New York - One more place i really really really want to go..Shopping heaven!!!And Times Square..and Woodsbury..lots n lots n lots more...

8. Paris - For the scenery and La Tour Eiffel..and the Museums...And the french guys..hahaha...

9. Rome, Italy - Definitely for the scenery and place..the old buildings, the culture, the pasta..

10. New Zealand - Definitely the scenery. The flowers, trees..i definitely gonna love it there..

11. Dubai & Abu Dhabi - i really would love to go to the mosque. Places that my aunt told me..it all sound lovely and awesome..

12. Mecca - for Hajj..

I think thats all for now..

embarrass.....

2010-12-01T10:52:00.000+08:00

OMG...i did something totally embarrassing... i can't really say out loud coz i am certain dat it is embarrassing..i definitely can't undo wut i've done..i dunno wut came into me last nyt..huhu...

2010-11-30T10:21:00.001+08:00

ANNOYING!!

ramadhan

2010-09-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

berlalu laa sudah ramadhan..two days to go..then, raya time!!hehe..muslims have been fasting for 27 days now..soon to be 28..so, far my ramadhan was ok..did fell sick for a few days..fever..the usual..then, everything's back on track..dis year's puasa hasn't been much different from the previous ones..the only different is i'm at mummy's not my own home..we breaking our fast at home most of the time...last Saturday, we all went to Pavillion..main purpose was to buy raya shoes..well, it wasn't necessary for me to buy new shoes for raya..its just that it won't feel like raya if one din buy new shoes n clothes right??hehe...well, i had 30% off for my shoes..that's quite a good bargain..n my shoes are totally hot!!just wait n see..anywho, i havn't breaking fast with just my family..i don't think it will ever happen this year since i'm at mummy's..anywho, i'll be going home malam raya..i will definitely want to spend pagi raya with my own family..then, off to mummy's..hehe..that wud be my plan for raya..anywho, before raya, there's a lot of things to settle..finishing up kemas2 umah.. then, anyam ketupat..that wud take ages..hell, i dun even know how to do it..hahaha..am looking forward to raya..can't wait!!

no fair!!

2010-07-14T14:37:00.000+08:00

we've already heard life isn't fair over n over n over again..n yet i would like repeat it again life is definitely not fair...y??well, i haf a lot of reasons to say this..but, i can't really say it out loud here..i'm not in a position to say wutever i hav in my mind out loud...if i say it out loud i can cause serious damage to myself n other ppl..haha..so, i guess i better keep it to myself n let it rot within me...
lets start witafter came back from melbourne, we got family holiday..it was fun..we all went to A Famosa..dat wus my first tym there..we had bbq, went to the water theme park..i had great fun..then, back to work as usual...MIHAS came..had to work during weekends to..but, seriously it was fun..dat was my first time participating in an event like that..n i am looking forward to next year..hehe..all i can say is, there's a guy..who din managed to get my number...hahahahha (evil laugh)..not to be rude, but i'm not interested..sorry..
back to usual work again..everyday's d same..we're currently in d phase of changing d curtains..at home of course..
my kazen bro had his 2nd baby boy..his name is Qaydeen Fayzan...soo cute..
well, i guess dats about it so far..(suddenly i've lost all my ideas..later good ppl of the world~

holiday!

2010-05-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

my last update was weeks ago..i juz dun hav the heart to update anything in dis blog...mayb juz mayb there's nothing interesting to share with u ppl..hehe...or mayb there's something ineteresting but i want to keep it to myslef..haha...anywho,lets update..
first n foremost, alhamdulillah...my bestest fren safely delivered her baby boy...his name is Aqeel Rafiq...such a cute baby..i only saw his pic though...still havn't got the tym to go n visit una n his new baby..i'll definitely go n visit later...i promise...
uh, exciting story...i'll be going to melbourne dis 2nd to 9th jun..i am super excited..i'm meeting my dear kazen there..then,we'll comeback together..he's already planned stuffs to do there n i'm super excited...on the top of the list is philip island..next in line wud be SHOPPING!!!!hahaha...u guys hav to wait to see how many pairs of shoes i manage to buy k..hehe..
i dun hav anymore to say..hihi..super excited...adios ppl~

family day....

2010-04-20T13:13:00.000+08:00

back to work..last weekend , khiazh group of companies had our 2010 family day...was held in bkt merah...went there by car...we all convoy secara beramai2 naek kete..mummy drove daddy's car from here n met everyone else in R&R rawang for breakfast..then, lunch n sg. perak...it was freaking HOT!!!!can't stand the heat...anywho, after one tragedy which khairul's car broke down...sian sgt2...we managed to arrive safely gk laa...long n budak bujang sorang went to fetch khairul's wife n children..sian sgt panas2 ngan anak2 kecil stranded kn..supposed there'll be telematch the evening we arrived..however, suddenly ujan plak...so, the telematch was canceled...a few of us went to the hall to rehearse for karaoke competition...fyi, popo, ee tak masuk karaoke comp!!!!berjaya...yeay!!we had superrrr fun during the rehearsal..mummy, auntie okie sumer menari giller2 punyer.. me too since i love dancing..haha...then ard 6pm, me n uyun head back to our room..siap2 lame laaa...had to do my makeup...d dinner started at 7.30pm...
referring to previous entry, i did mention our dinner theme was arabian night..i came as cleopatra...owh ye, definitely laaa i won the fancy dress for ladies category...yeay!!!!the grand prize for lucky draw was a LCD tv..won by khairul..ok laa..kesian sgt dier kete rosak lg kn..huhu..the karaoke competition won by hafif...he had a nice voice..he sang faizal tahir's song ape ntah luper plak..sorry...after abes sumer, amek2 gamba...then, went straight to my room to wash off the makeup..used mummy's makeup cleanser...uh, tragedy no. 2..after i washed my face, it suddenly turned into red..my cheeks n the top of my nose...my eyes were fiery red...i was like uh god!!bukak lense cecpt n wash my eyes...tp still merah giller...(merah tahap mata putih sumer merah cm pontianak harum sundal malam punyer mata sumer merah...tak tipu..bak kata mummy cm pecah darah...merah tahap si kuyun pn takot nk tgk ye..)my eyes went all watery..cm tgh menages2 sedey..hahaha...then, i realized, muka tetibe cm bengkak cm kene gegata...damn...tunjuk kt kuyun..trus g room mummy...naseb baek seblah jer..mummy ckp kene g clinic kene jab..nnt takot esk lg teruk takleh bukak mata...so, g room auntie okie plak..jumper uncle rauf..pastu sumer pn terkejot tgk..kene gk g clinic..tp, uncle rauf takleh hantakn since he had to wake up super early to play golf the next day..so, mummy called uncle arshad..naseb baek diorang ade dekat2...uncle arshad was wit en.sabri n d budak2 bujangs...they all came rushing back..sumer tgk my face cm wow..haha..n there i was standing mkn dried jambu tuh nonstop..mcm lapar giller plak..i was relax jer muka kene cmtuh..hehe..mcm salu jer kene allergic2 nih pn..hehe...then, g taiping carik clinic..sesat2 gk laa...haha..pastu kene jab kt butt...super saket!!!tak tipu...before nih kene jab cm tak ssaket lgsg pn..ape daaa...on d way back,sesat..very funny...we all arrived nearly 3 am..sesat punyer pasal...huhu..smpi jer trus bom tak sedar diri...
next morning muka dh ok...yeay!!!!went to d waterpark..maen2 sgt penat...superrrr panas...masing2 sunburn cm anak india dh jd gelap giller...haihhh...ptg plak mummy called tanyer nk buat telematch ke...we all lyk NOOO!!!superrr penat..trus tdo...bgn2 jer siap nk turun for bbq dinner..kene announce jd committee sorak plak..huhu..takpelaaa...after d dinner, we all went to zoo taiping...night safari laa kononnyer..well, sumer binatang tdo dh laaa...cess....the best part was there were 3 badak bapak besar parking baek punyer tunjuk butt kt kitorang...haha...overall, it was ok laa for the price dat we pay..
sunday morning, had our breakfast..then, aerobic organized by the hotel management...superrrr fun..seriously!!then, straight continue with telematch...our group won 2 first prizes n one 3rd place..huhu...seriosyl, i had great fun..i even at first forced to join the three legged race with azam..it was weird..wutever laaa kn...anyways, we both won third prize..hehe....
all in all, the family day was super duper fun for me n other ppl too..everybody seems to enjoy themselves honestly...can't wait for next year!!

MEAN

2010-04-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

today i'm gonna be a mean girl..hehe..well, i came across this one blog..i can't n won't tell u how or whose blog was it..so, i read a bit...n it sucks....not the content suck but the language suck...well, i do encourage ppl and myself to improve our language in particular english..however, before you let other ppl read it, at least check the grammar a bit..i'm not saying dat my english is excellent or anything..i'm sure i'm just as bad as anybody else...i mean, come on...can't u even differentiate between plural n singular...i think that's like super basic...haihhh...pleaseee laa wei...if u're not sure whether its right or wrong juz do ur self a favor...write it in malay...its even nicer to read...
so, from now on, if i ever make any mistakes, i'm sorry...hehe...

family day..

2010-04-12T14:25:00.000+08:00

on d 16th-18th april 2010, there will be Khiazh Sdn Bhd family day at Bukit Merah Laketown Waterpark..we'll be having games, costume competition, visits, bbq dinner, singing competition n lucky draw..
n i've been helping wrapping all the presents..its been fun..at least i have something interesting to do while waiting for the time to pass...there'll be costume competition on dat friday nyt..the theme is arabian night..wut i'm wearing??well, u guys have to wait n see...i'm hoping to win becoz the prize will be one set of curling styling iron stuffs...n i wuld love to own it..hehe..if i sed IF i win the prize,i'll definitely grow my hair long..then,it'll take me ages to get ready to work in d morning..hehe..
i've promised to upload damia's cuku jambul pictures and yet i haven't done it..sooo sorry...i guess i'm one of the laziest perrson to upload pictures...however, i've uploaded d pictures in my fb..so, u guys still can take a look in my fb...so, for this family day trip, just take a peek at my fb..i promise i'll upload there...

Sleepy~

2010-03-29T20:36:00.001+08:00

Right now is at 8.23pm..n my current location is in d living room dpn..doing absolutely nothing..juz googling using my phone..i'm soo sleepy right now..which leads to my decision to write something in my ever soo lifeless blog..btw,i do admire ppl updating their blog everyday..
Uh,my stomach is grumbling shouting n screaming askung for food..its already 8.30..i'm not in d mood to cook anything..i've already eaten something light juz now..even thougj it doesn't satisfy my hunger,its better than not eating at all..
I've been having difficulties wit my work..well, thats life..i haven't found company to do the testing..n i've been ttying to call here n there..i'm tired of searching..please please please let me find any company who can do testing...huhu..
I'm about to sleep..can't hold my eyelid any longer..latet i'll update more..

Iphone

2010-03-24T19:32:00.001+08:00

This is mu first entry using my iphone..i juz downloaded d application in my iphone..hehe..so,basically dis entry has no purpose laa..haha..i'm watching american idol..later guys~

2010-03-17T11:14:00.000+08:00

helooo~
i'm in d mood to update today...hehe...

ppl~ i'm going to melbourne...yezzaaaa!!wen??according to my tix, i'll be going on d 2nd to 9th june..can't hardly wait..bought d tix last week..i hav kazen studying there...you, yes you my cuzin..so, lodging settle...food settle jer laa kn..

i definitely hav to safe a money..i want to buy shoes!!mummy sed, its quite cheap there n oso nice...a few other things oso la...hehe...owh ye, later mister remind me mummy pesan the thing for dish washing...sponge u can put soap in it...cmtuh laa...n mummy nk shark cartilage (betul kah eja??) hehe..long way to go lg, though...

this may, office trip to bkt merah!!!yeay...well, this will be my first tym to join any office trip..we'll play games, bingo, karaoke competition..

next will be family holiday..to A famosa rasenyer...wen??mayb end of june..lame lg sumer nih...i'll update later..

adios ppl~

BORING!!

2010-03-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

this entry is a result of boringness to the extreme..haha...well, i've been reading my frens' blog..a lot of them..well, they do have a lot of things to share..i mean they experience a lot of stuffs on daily basis...wen i look at my blog, its dead..lifeless..this shows how boring my life is..ahaha..

let me share with you guys my daily routine...i'm sure u guys fell asleep after reading this due to boringness..hehe..woke up maybe 7.30 or mayb 10 mins after..i dunno...depends on my eyes n mood..then take a bath for mayb 20 mins...i love juz standing under the shower...haha..next, it took me another 40 mins to get ready i mean my hair of course..haha...so, ard 8.30 i', all set to work...then, wait for my auntie aka mummy to come down..while waiting, i read newspaper..kudos to me, i've been reading newspaper everyday...superrrr hebat..haha...then, mayb ard 9 or ++ i reach office...straight away weigh sample n incubate for 8 hours...for that 8 hours i juz sit n do nothing...this is the part where i go online, play something or mayb even fell asleep...i'm not complaining here...its juz that i din hav anything to do...huhu~ i can say that i'm kinda workaholic...i know i 'm committed to work..but, i guess i need something else to work with for that whole 8 hours...after 8 hours i filter the product n i go back home...my everyday life is basically that..only that..

next topic, i think i want to take my masters..in what??well, there's one suggestion to take master in biotech..but, its biotech science..well, its gonna be easy since i can work on the project i'm doing right now...my work project...however, its such a waste since i'm a degree holder on biotech engineering...i love engineering i guess even though i'm that good in physics..so, i was thinking, how about i do my masters in chemical engineering..since the company will need a chemical engineer later..might as well i learn..so, i have to things...haha...then, i think i want to take MBA...then followed by PhD..wah2...ble plak nk kawen..ahhaha...its just my plan..i'm not soo sure yet laa..

owh ye, last weekend, my cousin sister got married..she's a few years younger than me..she's married to a surveyor who my other ucle kinda know the guy laa...anywho, well, dat day i'm supposed to hav other wedding my ghrc fren siti..n i've told my mom n dad a lot of tyms i want to go to siti wedding..n how excited i was, i even bought present for her...we started of our journey around 10 am..n according to my mom we should arrive 2 hours and half later since the wedding was in muar..so, ok laa..then, half way thru something happen to my lense...it got spoilt..then, we had to stop by in melaka to buy new lense..then, ok laa continue journey..then, my dad stopped..he sed we're waiting for my uncle...n its nearly 12...i was lyk urgghhhh...lyk 20 mins later my uncle arrived...then, sesat2 lg laa carik umah...we end up arrived at the wedding 1.40 i guess..after salam2 then me n my mom went in to see my kazen d bride..she looks pretty..then, me salam2 wit uncles n aunties..then, there's one particular auntie asked me dh keje ke??keje ktne??keje ape??then, i answered keje ngan auntie buat research..then she asked owh kt subang..then i sed ha'ah kt subang..then she sed owh ddk subang patut laa makin lawa..wuts dat supposed to mean???!!!igt org tmpt laen tak reti dressup ke???blablabla..mls nk lyn..so, me went out from the house n hav lunch...yaddayaddayadda..its already 2.30...then, salam2 laa pape laa nearly 3 we started our journey back..n we arrived in seremban at 4 pm...n the ceremony ended at 4...i was soooo furious...i juz keep quiet the whole tym in d car..i dun even talk tomy dad until now...marah k...

itu saja lah kemarahan saye..haha..

2010-02-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

cukur jambul or potong jambul???
either way, damia my along n my mom will organize cukur jambul for damia aleeya..the event will be on the 20th feb..can't wait...already bought her cute white dress with headband n sox n white shoes...d theme will be all white...my auntie bought her white crib...nice..actually, it was kinda last min decision..my mom tot she wanted to do it on march...then, we tot y not d weekend after raye cine since my cousin still ard...d menu will be mee rebus, sate n kuih2...yummy!!can't...definitely will update later with some piccas..

bandung trip~

2010-02-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

i'm back from bandung!!!my trip to bandung was quite satisfying and oso tiring...today is monday as u all know n i'm back in d officfe...definitely i haf to go to work since i dun haf any annual leave..huhu..
anywho, dis is my update on shopping in bandung...our flight was at 8.30pm from lcct...we arrived mayb ard 10 i can't remember...wahahha...anywho, on d flight i saw a fren..it was green...wen i wanted to collect my luggage he saw me...we chat a bit..apparently, he's on a working trip...then, we parted after i took my luggage..went straight to d hotel...we stayed at royal merdeka hotel...it was an ok hotel..me n my mom n uyun were in d same room..
next morning i woke up early...ate breakfast n we all head to pasar baru...since my auntie sed she wanted to buy material, so we went straight to dis one shop called jai ho..it was their grand opening dat day...we were their first customer...they sell cheap n very nice material.. we all kinda went crazy...we spent 3 hours n a half juz to buy kain2...n me end up with 7 pieces...OMG...i bought my mom tudung...then, dats it...we're out of pasar baru..huhu~ went back to d hotel n lepak2 a bit...then out again...went to donatello...a bit frustrated laaa...d shoes dat i like got no size left...huhu...agak kuciwa laaa saye...for dinner. we went to kampung daun...it was quite far from from bandung...near d valley..it was a very nice place..n very very very nice food there...we ate lyk there's no tomorrow..haha...plus, we were extremely hungry since none of us ate lunch...everybody was busy shopping..hahah...
saturday morning we went back to pasar baru... day in pasar baru apparently not enough for us...so, went back second tym...i bought a few pieces of kebaya for ppl..n i saw cotton material...it was pretty...so, i bought a few oso for me n my fren..then, i help my angah chose a few pieces for her n i dunno who else she wanted to giv d material..anywho, shopping in pasar baru is sooooo satisfying..after pasar baru g laa mkn kt kartika sari...jln2 lg kt jln dago sumer2 tuh...a lot of factory outlet stuffs....best sgt...bought a few of kartika sari yummylicious brownies...ape ntah lg bli...tak byk sgt laa...bought a pair of super cute sandals at edward forrer..bought 1 pair of boots at donatello..bought coach bag at d factory outlet..original tau..haha..n oso bought cute dresses for qish, jimah, yani n nadia...
sunday, our flight at 12.30p..so, tak sggh memane...sort out bags n leave...bye2 bandung..see u next year...hehe..i'll upload d pix later...hehs..
all in all, bandung trip was satisfying...spent nearly 1k..seriously...

kebosanan terlampau

2010-02-03T16:14:00.000+08:00

kebosanan terlampau............

bandung here i come...............

updatessssss~

2010-02-01T16:41:00.000+08:00

been ages since my last entrance...sorry...been really busy, i guess....
first n foremost, i'm officially an aunt...my sister gave birth to a healthy baby girl...she named her damia aleeya...she's born on 10/1/10 ard 3pm...nice date, huh??weight 3.8kg...berattttttt...hehe...btw, she's sooooo cute...she's an angel...anywho, my sister currently staying wit my auntie due to some stuff...later i explain..so, i can see damia everyday...yeay!!

second of all, me officially 25 years old on d 17/1/10...hehe...how doe it feels to be 25??well, there's nothing different...like some ppl say, age is juz a number...well, i still feel the same...nothing really change..except one thing laaa kot, i need to find a bf by dis year...well, according to my PLAN, i shuld haf a bf by dis yr, then i'll get engage by 2011...then, i'm planning to get married in 2012...thats d big plan..haha...but, who knows...

next, like u guys know, i'm working as research officer...well, dis project dat i've to continue doing, well finally i got the product...thank god...after soo many challenges...tuh rosak nih rosak...equipment tak cukup...seriously testing my patience...d crucial process took about 10 to 11 hours depending on d volume...so, i had to work extra hours...its tiring, but wut else can i do...huhu...there r a lot of testing need to be done....i hope dis product will go as far as it can go...seriously, its good...

fourth, pindah!!!!sounds familiar??yup....we move again...wer to??subang of course...near to my auntie's n near to my work place...hehehe...my mom rent a house in ss19...the same area we previously stayed..honestly my room is quite small since i'm already used to sleep in a bigger room in serdang...however, its ok...its only temporary until i find a house to buy...it'll take me mayb a couple of years...plus, i'm not at home 24/7...its gonna be fine..

last, bandung trip....can't wait...three days to go...yeay!!!!i'm not sure how much money i want to bring..anywho, i've already haf a few things in my mind dat i want to buy...shoes of course...hehehe...my flight to bandung will be on thursday at 8.30...will be back here on sunday...

i'll definitely update on my trip to bandung...ehehhe...laters ppl~

people~

2009-12-14T12:47:00.000+08:00

there's a story about a girl.....

mayb i know her or mayb i dun...well, dis story is bout this one particular girl i knew way back...i dun really like to mention her name, though...
i'm not sooo sure how we started to be frens...it was kinda coincidence laa...i haf other frens at that moment...somehow, she came into my life...at first, it was perfect...i like her very much juz like my other frens...we spent a lot of time together...chatting n laughing and gossiping...the usual stuff...to me at dat time, she potrays the perfect n nice girl ...after a while, she suddenly changed...i'm not sooo sure y...sometyms i think, am i not good enough to be her fren??obviously not, i guess since she prefers to be frens wit this other girl..sometyms, i felt like i was being leftout...i think, i've never done anything wrong...i don't really understand why she did dat to me...at dat tym, i was sooo sad...i felt pathetic...well, there's more to it...dis is just the gist...basically, she left me or abandon me for other people...now, i've seeen her true colors, i'm not dat sad anymore...
it happened years n years ago...its not like i still remember bout dat thing..anyways, such a waste of tym to thing bout dat...juz a reminder, please be careful wen you choose ur frens....
fyi, dis is not exactly how i picture me writing bout dis...hahaha..

working~

2009-11-25T16:37:00.000+08:00

i'm already wotking...its been 1 week...it was ok..my 1st task was to read the report given then to identify all the equipment needed for the project...then i ordered through abg long...now i haf some research to do...n oso wait til all the equipment arrive..basically that's all i did so far...
last weekend we did surprise party for my kazen abg long..the theme was christmas...so, we decorated the hse using christmas ornaments n candles...my n my kazen were lyk rajenssss giller we made snow flakes using paper n put glitter on it..rajens laa...the menu was - beef wellington which was a hit!!, roasted chick, cranberry sauce, salsa n nachos, mashed potatoes...all YUMMY!!!!
well, dis entry has been in d edit box for quite sometyms...still i want to post it...hahha...btw, dis fri will be har raya haji...as usual we all massak ketupat rendang kuah kacang etc..sunday nyt we'll be having bbq...monday nyt karaoke...rinduuuuu n sgt gian...haha....tues nyt new moon premier....yezzzzzaaaaaaa....can't wait...hihi...
dats about it...mls nk type pepnjg actually...hehe....adios ppl~

tanam anggur..

2009-11-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

i've been unemployed...its been a few weeks oledi...seriously i dun hav any bit of excitement or heart to even work there anymore...seriously..god!!!how i hate working there since d first tym i went there...its not lyk i'm choosy or anything..i juz hate the environment..i hate everything bout d place...i'll be starting my new job at khiazh soon...i'm looking forward to work there of course...

owh yeah...crappy crap crappest!!!!y???hurms..lets see..its been more than a week streamyx can't get connection...super pissed off...called the tm ppl last week...they sed the technician will come in 2 days...where's d hell r they???dis evening, tm pplp called they sed the technician will come tomorrow..god!!at last...but i've planned to go out tomorrow...damn...urghhhhh...i dun care...its been a few days i've stucked at home...i need fresh air...i need retail therapy...i juz need to buy parfum...hehe..window shopping..god!!!how i miss shopping mall...klcc...gardens...pavillion..

i'm lyk super duper hungry...havn't eaten dinner yet...i dun really feel lyk cooking today...so, ard 4 i juz ate maggi which lyk suck...god, maggi dun really appeal me anymore...it juz taste sucks...no offense though...now, i'm lyk bloody hungry...aiyo...i asked my dad to buy bread...obviously, he's not back yet...huhu...i've been badly attacked by mosquitos...damn those mosquitos...however, i managed to kill a couple of them...hahahaha (evil laugh)..

owh yeah..me having sore throat...hurtssss..

daim

2009-10-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

sat nyt doing absolutely nutting...i guess every nyt lyk dis...every single nyte lock in my rum doing nothing...wut a boring llife...anywho, suddenly i feel lyk eating daim cake...yummy!!!nk g ikea laaa cmni...hahha...i can imagine how it looks lyk...d taste...aiyo...makes my estomago hungry laaa...haihhhh...

my mom do wanna go to alamanda tonyt...due to my laziness, d plan was canceled...once i'm at home, i really dun feel lyk ever go out frm d hse...i seriusly loveto juz sit in my hse doing nothing rather than go out somewhere...but once i'm outside, i lyk being outside n not coming back home until i really do hav to...hahhaa..but still i prefer staying at home...

3 weekssss...

2009-10-29T12:20:00.000+08:00

its been 3 week ssince i last update my blog...i dun really miaa it...huhu...sian...anywho, my life's been ok...well, in short, gotten really busy bcoz of my sister's wedding...next day convo...fell asleep during recitation of doa...huhu~ tuesday sick....1 week later ok...then, went to k'tan...tiring!!!!then, sick again...n now juz got better..i've been sick twice in a month...gosh...i guess as i'm getting older, i dun really haf strong antibodies...huhu...fyi, i'm not saying dat i'm old k....

last nyt as i lay on my bed trying to sleep, something kinda cross my mind..hurms, its been 5 years oledi...n yet, wenever .........how can i put dis into words...its not easy to say dis out loud...i guess i still dis mountains of ego...hoho...owh, i feel lyk pathetic loser...well, definitely u guys dun really understand wut the hell i'm trying to say...well, never mind...bottom line, i regret...end of discussion...

i opened my window n d gardener juz finished cutting d grass..then i remembered how i love the smell of newly cut grass...n one more, i love d smell of rain...two things dat i lyk to smell besides parfum...hehe...

i seriously need to go out n hang out wit my frens...i missed them a lot!!kiren...i miss her sooo much..n una n fad n shael n nad oso...

poof...

2009-10-07T09:52:00.000+08:00

well, i haf no particular topic for dis entry...i dun really haf any idea wut to write...i still want to writesomething though...hehe...well, i got dis forwarded email from hilmi...i read it...n it brought me to tears...seriously...it's a very touching n sad story...u guys want d gist of it or the whole story...or mayb some of u haf read it....mayb i'm a bit late in discovering dis story..anyways, i would love to share dis wit u guys...

This is a true story which has touched many readers. As it is quite a long story, reserve it (if you haven't got the time) and read it only when you are in a more relaxed mood. In either case, do make it a point to savour everyline until the end. This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted. Please, read this story until the end.. It is such an eye opener. You never Know.........!

            Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
          Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
           Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it." Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
            There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
             One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.

               At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
              The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
             For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
            At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
          Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
         The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
         Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
          I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.
          One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that.
        Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
         One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
         In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
          Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go. In the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
         In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
         Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
           At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
           He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
           Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
            Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
           Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
          Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be..
          But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion.... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
            Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby....My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...
           These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... " Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...
"Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........

well, does it makes u cry??it does to me...hehe..

2009-10-06T01:28:00.000+08:00

i am lyk sooo bloody pening right now... y? urghh....pening thinking bout how to solve alot of things...regarding fatihi's hantaran laa....there's always problem...after solving one, another came...urghhh...tekanan...first, i found out dat d dulangs were way too small for all d things...then, only solution borrow frm aunt's fren...correction, rent k...one settle...then, after id dulang size settle, then, one problem rise...the stuuf for the ring is way too small for d dulang...aiyo...need to settle dat...so, i tot lyk want to do ;yl gubahan wutever...but then, d duit haf to hand to my sis...if i make it into gubahan, susah plak...urghhh...then, i figure juz use lyk chest or something..i asked my mom wether we still got d chest from my along's wedd...she sed no....gave to abg zaidi's mom...aiyo....tekanan oledi...solution, use my angah's chest....thank god she haf a chest....she got the chest from buying dis no soooo nice smelling parfum...hehe...

so, i dunnoo wuts gonna happen next...dunno wut type of problem is waiting for me..gosh, i'm already stressed out....i can't sleep n its 1 oledi...haf to wake up early tomorrow n wash hair n blow dry n iron...gosh...malas nyer....

owh ye, pardon my english lyk suck big tym...can't think straight nemore...i need my sleep please...stop thinking!!!!!

2009-10-03T14:24:00.001+08:00

been spending my week at my auntie's..my cuz back frm oz..yes u, popo...dis week byk sgt mkn fastfood...aiyo!!!hish2...dress tak muat plak nnt...hehe..anyways, my week sounds lyk dis:

monday: went to khiazh office in d morning..there's mkn2 kuih n open2 d hampers...after dat, went out lunch kt gardens..we ate sizzling yee mee..not as good as klcc's..hehe..went karaokeing at night my my kazens, popo n uyun..
tuesday: went to khiazh again...baby sit Qhaleef..bought lunch - pizza hut n kfc for affice oso..so, mkn fast food laaa...hehe...blk umah after dat n let Qhaleef sleep...good....
wednesday: did nutting much...Qhaleef came..baby sit again while playing games wit my cuz..lunch macaroni grg..tp sikit jer tak cukup..so, went out drive thru mcd...(fastfood again...aiyo)
thursday: early7 in d morning we went out to upm..amek offer letter..breakfast setabux n mcd...terign sgt nk breakfast mcd n setabux...so ate both...haha...
friday: lunch nasi grg....went out to d bank..shopping nk msk for today...went to alice took my dress..mlm kuar again went to summit...there's still a few stuffs left to buy..unfortunately takde plak...huhu...
]dats my week...basically laa kn... so, today jp lg i mean, nk help popo msk..ngantukss..

uh,later...need to go toilet..hehe.

my raye

2009-09-22T09:55:00.000+08:00

today is d third day of syawal...planning for today is to beraye at ikea...wahahaha...

back to my first day raye...first day raye woke up early...helped my bonda cook lodeh n rectify d kiah kacang a bit more n panaskn all lauk2 laa...then i took my bath n took me 1 hour plus juz to get ready...as usual laa kn..hehe...so, we all waited for along n abg zaidi..then, diorang mkn..we all salam2...took family photo n took off...went to our first hse which was my auntie's in subang...at home i only ate 2 spoon of ketupat n lodeh only...reserve for nasi briyani of course...so, smpi je at my auntie's trus mkn...yummy!!!
next stop was tok long's in damansara jaya...my dad's side of d family...went there, ate 1 cap of laksa johor only..if i dun watch wut i eat, i'll end up bloated n saket perut...even though i badly wanted to eat everything, but i still haf myself control..wahahah..

2nd day raye...went to sg. koyan..there's a family fren there...so, me n my mom only who followed to sg. koyan...apparently, my along wanted to follow...but, my mom sed no coz of her condition laa kn...nnt sian damia aleeya..huhu...n yet, i havn't feel damia aleeya kicking my along's huge belly...everytym i touch, she stop kicking...aiya...it was hot in sg. koyan...sumer peluh2 busuk...on d way back frm sg. koyan, anep n ajimah tdo dh dlm kete...peace n harmpny...but, agak cram laa kn my tgn coz ajimah tdo sandar....huhu..next stop, long (my kazen) parents in law's hse...k'farah's hse laaa kn..not my along though..haha...confused...byk sgt farah..then blok umah...everybody dh penat..mlm, me n popo went to parade fr mcd..tp mkn fries n nugget jer...hehehe....me bought berus gigi n ubat gigi oso..senang nk tdo cni (i mean at my auntie's)...

i still tak mandi lg...waiting for my turn...dis tym around popo mandi sgt laaa lame plak..hahahha...n definitely he will read my blog..hehs....popo, cpt keluar!!!!haf to wait for my mom to bring my baju oso..in d mean tym can siap2 my hair..owh, popo dh kuar..adios ppl~

my week~

2009-09-17T13:07:00.003+08:00

l2 days to raya...countdown???seriously??haha....dis week been great so far...y??well...on monday i went to work..nothing special actually...juz typical day...tues me had headache in d morning...so, end up tak g laa keje...hehs..bak kate hilmi, same laaa mcm husna saket perut laaa saket kepala laa...hehe...well, wut to do dh name pn bff kn..haha..back to my topic, my along n abg zaidi came in d afternoon..n great news, she's having a girl...me gonna get a niece....yeay!!!!!i'm sooo freaking happy...even though all my siblings r girl, still i want niece...its gonna be great....we can dress her up in cute dresses...all girlish dresses...wit cute hair accessories...hahahha...i hav a hunch dat we all gonna spoil her lyk crazy...haha..i dun mind though..so, on tuesday, we all went to mid valley for bukak pose...we went together but bukak pose separately...i've already made plans wit my girlfrens..fad shael una n no tto forget hilmi laa kn..n coincidentally, my angah bukak pose there oso...we had our breaking fast at delicious while my mom n along at chilis...me had a wonderful tym...great in fact...really missed them...
d next day...(wednesday)..i'm supposed to go to work..so, i woke up early..fyi, me no longer share room wit my angah...she took d 2nd room n i took d 3rd room...anyways, she's supposed to go to work as usual..so, i tot she went to wrok laa..n wen i woke up, i went outside n din see any cars around...i tot my mom drove to skool..n my angah drove to work too...so i tot shit there's no car..i can't go to work...so, i went back tp my rum n sleep somemore...later i woke up i suddenly, i saw my angah...she din go to work...damn....seriously, it was an honest mistake i tell u...huhuh...later in d evening, me went to klcc to hav bukak pose wit kiren...we ate at california pizza kitchen...we ordered lyk its been ages since we had food...we end up bloated n cudn't even move..wahaha...it was a super fun n happy day for me...i love hang out wit kiren...she's one of my frens dat i won't trade in for anything not for billion dollars...she's one of d best!!!
today, my job is to wash d curtain n hang them...huhu...nk raye laa katekn...malas~!!!!

buka puasa

2009-09-14T10:49:00.003+08:00

5 days to go...obviously u guys know wut i'm talking bout...its puase...i'm not exactly saying dat i'm thrilled dat puase nearly ends...i'm neutral...its juz dat i feel lyk dis year's puasa goes by sooooo quickly...it didn't feel lyk i've been puasa for 3 weeks already...dis coming raya not lyk ever raya...i dun haf kasut raya, bj raya...i dun haf anything new...d bj kurung is for my sister's wedding...n d kasut i bought, i oledi use it...huhu...so, basically i din buy anything particular for raya...i dun really feel d excitement for raya anymore...mayb because of my sister's wedding i guess...we went for fitting for her dress...it's sooo gorgeous...sorry una tiru idea u a bit...hehe...cute...its juz dat my angah is a bit too kurus...if she's not dat kurus, it'll be perfect...hehe...stop talking bout dat...
next, breaking fast wit my miss fadilla...i miss her...so, in planning tomorrow gonna meet her at midvalley...havn't think yet wut to eat for breaking fast...huhu...well, i dun really haf d appetite..hihi...hope its gonna be a blast..on wed, me gonna haf bukak puasa wit miss khairun nisaa..i miss her oso...feels lyk forever since d last i saw her...
yesterday was our family buka puase at my auntie's obviously...best...mkn sgt byk...urghh...bloated n super guilty...there was a lot of food...kuih2 ade a lot...which i obviously only ate karipap..sgt sedap...haha...among other things, laksa johor...YUMMY!!!!my auntie's famous spaghetti...there's seafood white sauce spaghetti...jeranan..salad..wut else..my mom brought ubi rebus n sambal tumis ikan bilis...fyi, i only ate kuih n spaghetti...huhu..n i was toooo kenyang...there was uncle acet n family, auntie oki, auntie arah n bebudak bujang tuh...mkn...solat...lepak2 borak2....sleepy n went back home...haha...n still bloated after blk ard 11++...aiyo...

2009-09-09T10:00:00.003+08:00

i need to do something useful...i'm about to fall asleep here...gosh!!been doing nutting...as usual...i'll just have to wait until i get my offer letter..last nyt i slept quite late...its juz last nyt, its everynyt...hehe...last nyt i was doing something useful, though..i was helping my angah wit her invitation card...yes, she got her card oledi...it tturned out juz fine...juz wut she expected...dats a relief...though it had minor error, its perfect...
bukak puase gath...dis sat, i haf 2 bukak pose gath....i dunno which 1 to go though...huhu..one i'm not sure wer but its my high skool bukak pose gath...i really miss my girl friends...but, at the same tym i haf my primary skool bukak pose gath...aiyo...n i havn't seen them lyk forever...i cudn't make it to last tym's gath...i had quiz or something...i can't remember...so, i'm torn btwn d two...plus, sunday i haf family bukak pose atmy auntie's..so, dis weekend me kinda bz laa...hehe..i havn't haf bukak pose wit my girlfrens..i missed them...i really wud love to bukak pose wit them...unfortunately, my budget quite tight dis month since i won't be getting my pay dis month..there's a story behind dis...i'll get my pay ard october i guess...which dats lyk way far ahead...aiyo...there goes my kasut raya..huhu...i haf a lot of things to pay...sucks!!
dis entry dun really haf its own particular purpose...juz me rambling bout my days n worries...wut a boring entry...

2009-09-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

i am soooo bloody rimas laaaa....tekanan!!!!!!juz butt off!!!!!!

2009-09-01T14:38:00.002+08:00

at last, for the first ever tym i went to my along's...yeay....actually, went there for breaking fast..abg zaidi had to work whole day...so, my along's alone at home...she doesn't really cook though...we went to bazaar in serdang our usual spot...bought some food (actually a lot)....then went straight to my along's... apparently, her hse doesn't haf any dining table...so, we had to sit on the floor...ala2 org kampung gitu...hehehs...after breaking fast, all of us except my dad went to AU2...my dad insist in staying at home coz he wanted to watchF1...as usual...we went there n my angah paid her electrical stuufs she bought...fyi, in jusco AU2, the displayed eletrical stuffs they will sell quite cheap rather than the normal stuffs...i'm talking lyk 30 to 40% off k...since abg zaidi work there, so, its easier to get the stuffs laa..my angah already bought her self tv, washing machine, fridge...my mom bought tv n aircond...my auntie oso bought tv...n the displayed stuffs are perfectly in good cndition pn...sape laa plak nk pki anything there except for d tvs laa...but still, the displayed tv that they sell off not more than 6 months old on the d display rack...so, basically considered ok laa...plus, at home there's no one to really watch the tv except for at night wen we all came back from work...i'm buying myself aircond in a few months..god, my room can be lyk sooo hot laaa sometimes...anyways, back to us went to jj AU2..dat nyt, jj closed at 12...merdeka sale..n according to angah, baskin haf 3 days sale...so, after we bought stuffs in jj, we went to baskin n bought ourselves pint of icecream each...owh, thank gd my along paid for mine since i havn't got my pay yet..yummy!!!!
yesterday, me n angah went to mid...she wanted to buy shoes for her wedding day...actually, she's been hunting shoes for quite sometimes...n i've been hunting one for her also everytime i went out...booked place at rak thai for breaking fast...then, straight away went to maxis...paying bills...i've already settled my bills before...dat was for bonda...g robinsons jln2 window shopping...then, we found dis keychain so cute..well, we found d keychain before...n my angah asked me to buy for her bday later..then, wen i came back again, the keychain was sold out...so,wen we found d keychain again, angah urged me to buy...dh laa takde duit...ces2..tp, bli jer laa...haihh...now, i'm left wit a few bucks in my purse...so much for bukak pose wit una later laa kn..breaking fast at rak thai was quite a dissapoinment...we din get wut we ordered...maybe they were mistaken wit other ppl's order...we juz ate it though since it took them hell long tym get wut we ordered ready...i dun really wanted to wait..anyways, we still end up bloated...initial plan, we wanted to eat the dessert there the mango thingie...well, definitely laa tak go through wit it since we can't even eat a single thing anymore...went to isetan after dat...owh, i found d perfect shoes or my angah...seriously gorgeous...i never realized dat dis one label..they had lots of cute n nice shoes...n wuts make me happy d most was it doesn't cost dat much...i've spotted a few potential for me to buy...hehe...let me put it dis way, wit 400 i can only buy one hot nine west shoes...but, for ds label, i could get 4 hot shoes with 400bux k....seriously...until i'm positively n definitely rich, i'll settle dis label laa..hehe...no nee d to waste money on nine west...or mayb i can buy nine west lyk once a year...god, i'm crazy for nine west...heheh...

so,
checkllist things for angah's wedding:
dress, shoes, veil
canopy
catering
hantaran
phtographer
makeup

all checked!!!!!yeay!!

2009-08-28T11:49:00.002+08:00

status: currently at work doing not sooo much stuffs...still reading...

yesterday, my fren's dad passed away...takziah to wani...be strong...went ziarah wit kiren..she picked me up at upm...we went straight to wani's house...since her dad arrive late, me n kiren make a move first...nk boke pose nnt plak...nk g memane pn jam...so, we end up having our buka poes at mines...plus, near to my hse..well, we arrived quite early...2 hours to buka pose...so, we end up went for manicure...wahahha...dh lame tak buat...rindu...for raya nk buat french manicure laa...hehe..my nails all nicely done...kilat2 lg after buff...i'm soo happy...for buka pose, me n kiren went to eat kenny rogers...since me currently doing veges only diet..i dun really think there's a lot of choice pn since not all veges i eat...cmne tuh..nk jd vegetarian but only very few veges dat i eat...aiyo...well, i end up eating all d potatos..mashed potatos, potato salad n d famous jacket potato..wahahha...n i was soooo bloated...urgh.....felt guilty...after buka pose, went for solat...next course, dessert..i found dis shop called sweetchat...n d dessert was lyk wow...i ordered mango mountain n kiren ordered something kiwi....tp, seriously sgt laa sedap n worth it....best!!!!ppl go n try...
today nk go bukak pose wit pn. husna n hilmi n fad...hopefully shael pn join laaa gk...nad cannot...teman her bonda at home...takpelaaa...nnt any weekends bebile we all bukak pose ramai2 k...

2009-08-26T14:14:00.002+08:00

its already d 5th ramadhan...eventhough, kinda late but,

selamat berpuasa to all my frens n muslims...

my puase so far ok..hehe..wuts not ok pn kn...hehe...dis year puasa vegetarian..i dunno how it end up...we juz haf to see...for dis past 4 days, i successfully break fasting without any meat or fish...all tahu n veges...hehe...harap2 berjaye...but, currently, i really2 wanna eat n.briyani sooo bad...adoyaiiii....sabar...

2009-08-22T02:14:00.002+08:00

bengang!!!!

huisyhhh...no good...nk pose dh nih...hehe...anyways, i haf my reasons...i'll come to that later...
owh yeah...today, i went to uni today....at last clearance siap...nearly tak dpt cop for finance td...thank god smpt...fuhhh...anyways, after dat i had lunch wit mrs. husna...hehe...puan sudeyyy...then we went to kino me bought sense n sensibility while una bought the art of seduction since she saw me reading it...hehe..fyi, seriously read it guys...it was one of d best laa..haha...
after dat, waited for angah to finish work...us n mom planning to buy angah's kain for reception...we bought d kain oledi before this...n d tailor oledi sew d dress..unfortunately, my angah dun realy lyk d dress...lyk my mom sed, kawen skali jer...better puas hati..i agree 100%...dats y we went to jln masjid india nk buy kain again..after our previous experiences, we kinda know laa which shop is cheaper kn...so, me n my angah went into dis one shop n look around...then ask d price for dis particular kain..then i told my angah, dis kedai is a tiny bit expensive laa...its not lyk i'm saying it out loud...n i dun even mention which shop is cheaper..so, me n my angah went out n met my mom at d other shop...takkn nk tgglkn my mom sorang jer kn..coz she's oledi in d other shop...so, both of us went there n search for my angah's lace...n we found something else...haha...n my angah love d chiffon silk...so, she took dat..then, we found d perfect lace...n seriously, i think it was cheaper compared to d other shop..since dh jumper yg ske, mmg laa amek trus...so, my angah bought all her kain there laa...but, there's one more type of material dat d shop din sell..so, we went back to d first shop which i sed expensive sket...so, we asked for d material..then, dis one lady came..she's somebody laa tpnyer...she's d one who gave us cheaper price wen d first tym we came last tym...then, suddenly she sed to me i sed kain mahal laa...dier malu kt worker laa...lyk i simply sed d kain was expensive n i dunno d material laa...ape bende laa dier bebel2 lg kn...i was lyk wut d F!!!!obviously i was lyk senyap jer...malas nk ckp blk laa...owh ye, heads up, lesson no 1, customer always right!!!!how cud she lyk insult me lyk dat...gosh...i dun care laaa u anak dato ke anak tokeh ke...i'm ur customer...kene laa jage hati eventhough i'm way younger than u...2nd, heloooo...dier igt i'm lyk stupid ke tak tau fashion n material...obviously, i'm comparing d prices wit d same material...takkn laaa i'm dat stupid compare french lace ngan satin kot...bengang siot wen she sed i dunno bout material...i'm not saying i took courses or anything, but how stupid can ppl be, juz tgk type of material n d price..then compare laa kn..owh yeah, one more, obviously my angah had one particular design in mind...then, she wants to dat design laa..then, minah nih sibuk2 ckp tak lawa laa...as if she's saying my angah punyer taste tak best laa...fyi, d dress cute k..n tak pyh laaa nk buat lyk typical designer dressed atas lace bwh duchess satin...my angah nk buat something different...biar laa..seriously, after dis dh malas laaa nk g kedai tuh lg kn...

kije

2009-08-19T14:41:00.002+08:00

today is officially my first day kije as RA...well, me kinda woke up late...so, smpi pn dh lmbt ard 10.30....doesn't matter though...so, while waiting for d guy to come n teach me, i just sit around n read stuffs...god, me totally forgot everything..i need to learn everything back...its not lyk i know everything...juz a few simple procedures i already forgot...gosh...can't believe dat i can forgot everything i learned in juz a few months...gosh...now i haf to relearn...n d project i haf to do involves biochemistry which i seriously suck big tym....OMG...i plan to stat doing d work nxt week since i know absolutely nutting about d project...huhu...so, i'll take dis few days to read n understand wut the hell i'm supposed to do...about d lab, well all i can say is definitely different from uia's laa...seriously...mayb back in uni, dr.azura really lyk concern d RAs really took care of d lab...but, here i can say dat it is messy laa...i dun mind old stuffs but they shud consider to clean up d lab after using laa kn...a lil bit of cleaning n mopping, d lab will be ok laa...anywho, i havn't started talking n boraking wit d lab ppl here...i dunno how to start...u guys know me kn...i'm not dat friendly to start a fresh new conversation...it may take a while for me to adjust to my surrounding...i prefer to work on my own...btw, i'm sooo hungry...havn't eat a single thing since morning...mls laaa nk kuar...kene g mkn alone pn...so, prefer tak pyh mkn...plus, i'm planning to drop by kt starbux for my coffee n dominos for dinner...hehe...
anyways, as for today...i'm juz lepaking n read jer...n tomorrow too laa kn...i was kinda planning to go watch d kelip2 tomorrow wit my frens...but, i'm not sooo sure yet how d plan goes...hehe...well, we've been planning to go watch d kelip2 lyk since forever laa kn...last tym there's a lot of ppl cannot go coz a lot of reasons...so, dis tym i guess bole dh kot...eventhough i still havn't ask my mom's permission yet...hehe...hopefully bole g laaa kn...on, fri morning, my plan is to settle my clearance...then, baru puas hati laaa if dh settle...i've been tangguhing siapkn after d last trial...dh cuti nearly 2 weeks pn still mls lg nk g...i've been spending my cuti n alot of my tym in subang...since i m sooo lazy to cook n clean at home...hehs...plus, there's uyun in subang...so, i won't be lyk bored lyk hell...we went out a bit...n karaokeing...me lepaking wit fad quite a lot...yelaaa, after dis i can't quite possibly lepaking kn since i've started working...huhu..
my future planning...hopefully, by nxt year, i change office to khiazh...hopefully laaaaa kn...i've already planned to rent a house or apartment wit fad..teringin jer laa kn nk ddk sendri...independent without parents...yeahlaa, in college was different since i only stayed in uni...not by myself...so, if pindah g subang, so easier laaa if rent there compared to travel all d way frm serdang kn...hopefully plan jd...but, dat will be lyk way ahead..mayb another a year laa...i dunno...i dun even know if my mom ever giv d permission...hehe..
alaaa,my fon's batt dh low...nearly dead...urgh...been listening to my songs since forever today...aiyo...mayb after dis haf to bring my usb senang nk charge fon..hehe..later...at 4 nk gerak laaa g mkn...lapa seriously...

2009-08-11T01:38:00.003+08:00

assalamualaikum.....
huisyhh...been sooo long since the last i start my entry wit salam...wahahaha...but no, i never forget...anyways, today was a boring day...kinda...woke up late...actually, terjage a bit early...ngah kemas2 nk sumer...so, cm tdo blk laa kn...wahahha...tgh hari nutting better to do...lepak2...then tgk tv...after dat baru mandi n maen2 pc jp...seriously boooorrrriiiiinnnnggg...at nyte, wen out wit fadilla...then karaokeing wit my kazen n her fren...best...actually, juz came back frm nyanyi...penat...sore throat dh...huhu...tomorrow me going back home...huhu...actually, hav to go to uni settle my clearance...can't go from here since i dun have my tuds n proper bj n my borang...so, had to blk umah laa kn...anywho, wed after uni straight away come bcak to subang...plan nk watch proposal wit my kazen in d evening..so, we'll c how d plan goes k coz we've been planning to watch d muvi since lyk sat..huhu...came to subang on sat juz to watch proposal...unfortunately, uyun saket perut laa plak...so, postpone on sunday..then, sunday, d whole family got wedding..me n uyun went to upin ipin for lunch...meet up wit uyun's fren...ok laaa...before kuar, mummy sed nk go klcc...then, we decided to follow...so, konon nk tgk muvi, in d end kkuar mkn jer laa...huhu..after mkn, we all went out to klcc...jkn2 jer..so, plan nk tgk muvi still postponed....huhu...hopefully, wed nih jd laa...amiinnn...

2009-08-07T21:58:00.002+08:00

not yet working...well, i went to upm yesterday...signed my form...then, dr.yunus told me there's a pregnant tutor haf h1n1...omg...sian nyerrrrr.....so, dr,yunus sed dat better i dun stat working until d h1n1 thingie gets better...well, its risky, i agree...so, i haf another 1 week before i officially starts working...hehehe...well, i kinda happy...but, not dat much at d same time...well,i'm really looking forward to work...no, dats not d right sentence...actually, i'm bored to death...if i stayed at home i haf to do all sorts of work..n yes i hav to admit dat me kinda lazy lately...cleaning cooking n everything weren't really in my agenda...i'm really looking forward to get my hands dirty wit all d lab work...dr.yunus oledi sed i'll be using new kit which i dun really know wut...but, still i'm kinda excited...
since, i've lepaking at home, i've downloaded jane austen's movies...yet i jav to say my fav still pride n prejudice...i've read emma n persuasion...n watched both of them...emma was ok...but, persuasion kinda boring...not really fond of it...d anne's character wasn't dat strong,though...but i hav to say dat i love jane austen...well, mayb i'll try to buy all her books...hehe...then, mayb i'll try to read others also...currently i'm reading dis book mimi smartypants...its kinda her diary actually...but, it was fun...
definitely very super lazy to cook...so, for dis past few days, i've been eating lyk wutever dat's at home...including crackers...huhu...at least yesterday i bought meehoon for breakfast...so, dats a proper meal...for lunch nada..for dinner i juz ate jemput2...as for today, my lunch was at 5 n eating crackers...n for dinner buah duku...siannyer idup...n everybody doesn't really care wether i eat or not...so,definitely i am soooo mls nk lyn everyody also...wuteverrrr.....

2009-08-04T18:52:00.008+08:00

shout to my bff......

happy honeymoon!!!!

well, yesterday my una oledi pegi honeymoon...kt mane??hehe...secret..hehs...hope she had wonderful n happy tym there...

yesterday was supposed to be my first day aat work...but, it got cancelled...y??upm tgh cuti h1n1...so, i start thur nih...haihhh...penat jer dtg..cet...anyways, my work strts at 9 to5...as usual...since my hse dekat, no need bgn awal2 stuck in d jam wut not...wahahha...i'm happy wit dat...owh, td actually i went there...i went to d cafe while waiting for my mom...suddenly, isaw dis one cute guy...cute laaa...takde laaa extremely cute...juz plain cute...hahah...tuh jer pn...nutting happen...as if i'm gonna see him again....wutever....

2009-07-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

me lately....

cpt annoyed...
senang marah...
always bad mood...
stress out...
everything dats negative...

i hate d way i feel...but can't help it...a couple of my frens haf theory..
theory 1:
stress bcoz nk stat keje..possibly..(thanx to kiren)
theory 2:
coz i miss una...hurmss.....

theory 1 lg logic kot...wahaha...sorry una...but i do miss u...u know i always ghindoooo u....i know u ghindoooo me too...hehs...
i shud know better...i shud accept other ppl d way they r...but, it seems very hard nowadays since i'm definitely sure dat they won't change lyk ever...n i'm definitely sure they dun realize wut they did...never ever cross my mind to tell them though....100% sure ppl will feel a bit offended...so, i juz haf to keep it on my own...plus, i feel i'm not good enough to tell ppl wut i feel...i feel i'm juz lyk them in a way...i'm not really a good person kn...i'm sure...sometimes i feel lyk enough oledi...but, i can't say dat...me kinda suck kn, as a fren...huhu...
uh, tetibe emo...cessss....ape bende laaa....baeklaaa....ppl, please ignore...

in love~

2009-07-30T23:52:00.002+08:00

i've fallen in love wit edward cullen again...i've been reading new moon n eclipse again n again...dun haf much things to do am i...hahah...anyways, i can;t keep track on how many tyms i've read d books oledi...somehow, i still find the books interesting...n fall in love wit the character again n again...he's lyk sooo super romantic n traditional...i lyk dat...before, i was in love wit mr. darcy from d pride n prejudice...my gffs know dat i loveee d character...especially u, una...haha..i love a guy who's arrogant...u know sangke bagus laa kn...but, deep inside he's lyk sooo nice n loving wen he meet someone he likes...hahahah...but its hard to find somebody lyk dat...anywho, i'm sooo looking forward to watch new moon later in november i guess...huisyhhh....lame lg tuh...eventhough, edward won't be in d movie dat much but its something i'm really looking forward to watch...i havn't finish eclipse though...i'm reading d part wer he proposed...gosh, even though ppl say its such a cliche to propose on bended knee wutsoever...but, i truly wanted dat cliche thingie....i absolutely love dat...i think its romantic wen ppl truly propose...i mean, looking at our culture u juz haf d mutual aggreement of getting married without any porper proposal...its no fun at all...it seems lyk d guy juz easily get u to marry him...its not dat fun...a proposal is something equally important to a marriage i hav to say...wen guys put some effort to propose to u, dat shows how important u r to him...i do agree we can lyk discuss about marriage a bit wen u think d relationship is serious enough...but, a proposal juz shows how much u wants to be in d relationship...how much u ready for a committment...n wen u think bout it later, how much u appreciate d girl...n oso d girl will appreciates d guy even more...girls will appreciate wutever little things dats guys do eventhough its unnecessary...guys dun really haf to go all out wit d proposal...juz take d girl to a fancy restaurant n juz propose n ur knee laaa i prefer...hahahaha...i dun care if ppl thinks its cliche...i want dat...so, heads up to anybody my future husband...if u want me to marry u, do propose...n i wudn't hav sed no in front of many ppl kn...wahahhaha....

2009-07-29T20:21:00.003+08:00

one down 4 to go...who's next??me??i dun think so...i'm single laa...no bf...sape laaa plak nk kawen..haha...
una's reception...
me n fad planned nk smpi awal at una's...dgn segala hebat nyer fad din brought d wedding card...my card was wit my mom...anyways, we both kuar awal..so, we gamble laaa g umah una..thank god kitorang smpi sgt tepat pd masenyer b4 una kuar...in fact dh kuar umah dh..huhu..naseb smpt...so, we both gerak skali since me n fad din know d dewan... we all arrived at d hall quite early actually.. mayb ard 12.30 kot...so, smpi2 jer amek2 gamba sket...then, una n hilmi gerak masuk d hall...me n fad dua org cm dtg awal giller laaa kn...shael plak had to teman jab ade wedding kt upm..so, kitorang dua jer laaa...then, iera n yani n aishu came...ade laa kwn sket...then kiren n sara came after dat..maken ramai...una's reception was sooo simple....una looks gorgeous....cute sgt d dress...pretty....i liiiikkkeeeee~ una's reception juz mkn jer..no sanding2...lyk i sed, simple...n dewan sgt pretty..pink n white...nice...after mkn2, una pn salam2 laaa all d guests...she sed penat..hehe...mmg laaa kn..hehs...me n fad waited for shael..teman dier mkn n amek2 gamba..tp,siyesly mls nk upload kt ci...checkout fb jer laaa kn...anyways, me had fun..d wedding was nice n pretty...
yesterday me went to upm nk isi borang...i went there at 2...unfortunately, d borang is not ready...so, d lecutere sed, owh come tomorrow laa...i sed ok fine...plus, i had to bring my certs n ic...so, i came by today ard 10...d lecutere not in yet..but, d other guy was there....so, i told him i wanted to isi borang n everything...he sed alaa, there's no borang kene amek...n i sed, nk amek how..i dunnno d place...confirm2 laaa sesat...haihhh...sgt laa tak efficient..i tot wen i come today, everything's ready laa kn...haihhh...susah jugak tuh...so, he sed juz write down all my details then he will fill in d form for me..naseb baek..so, i juz blk jer laa...mls laa plak nk tunggu kn..
so, pape pn fri nih i haf to go to khiazh laa...

2009-07-26T00:51:00.002+08:00

as requested by fad...
how my gramma convert n met my tok...well...my gramma came frm wealthy family...they were doing business...by dat tym, their business was doing well laa kn...they had lands n properties everywhee...straitsview hotel in jb..last tym, it was a very famous hotel laa kn...zaman dulu2 sgt...actually, my gramma married chinese man...she had 2 boys... can't remember their names oledi laa...padahal baru sebut td...hehe..anywho, her husband passed away...then, she remarried laaa another chinese man...then, had 2 sons oso laaa...then, d husband passed away oso laa...so, by gramma nih, she likes to work wit d government lyk dat laa...so, she worked as a nurse laa, then kt jail n custom...wen she's working, she was surrounded by malays muslim...so, lelame she's interested laa nk convert...so, her bestfren sumer d muslims tolong laa dier...by then, her mom still din know dh convert...one day tembelang sudah pecah...so, nk taknk, she had to get married wit a malay man laaa kn...nnt her mom pakse tuka blk her religion kn...so, apparently, the bro's driver was my granpa...my gramma's mom had a driver, pak hassan...d bro's (dat tan sri which i dun even know laaa kn who) had a driver my granpa...at dat tym, my granpa baru divorce wit his wife lyk a month plus or so...so, diorang sudah arrange for my gramma n granpa to get married...since, dh kawen, cannot laaa d inlaw jd driver...so, d tan sri was kind enough laa bg keje laen....
so, basically, dats about it laa...how my gramma convert n married my granpa...n how my gramma became soooo rich...apparently, my gramma's mom (greatgramma laa) sudah bg all her harta to my gramma...umpan suro convert laa kn...still my gramma taknk gk...n she wore kebaya all d tym...all her family oso i mean d chinese family..but, they were not baba...
after getting married wit my granpa, she got my auntie aka mummy...2 years after dat, my mom came into d world...apparently, my gramma had kidney problem n hi blud...so, she really jage her food laa...tak mkn goreng2 n all dat...mkn sup ayam wit herbs...mmg jage laaa kn...so, she had a baby boy..but, d boy passed away dlm hari...dunno y laa...his name was raja abdul rahim....after dat she gave birth to my uncle...she passed away wen my mom was in standard 1, mummy standard 3 n my uncle was juz 3 years old..so, dat about it laaa kn...later2 i story2 more laa...sleepy..kene bgn awal2 nih...

2009-07-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

wedding bell~

last nyt was my bbf's solemnisation....OMG, she married...she's somebody's wife...still cm takleh terime a bit..haha...me went wit fad...d nikah was held at masjid wilayah...there's a dewan nikah...it was a very nice dewan nikah...best laa baut kt ctu...anywho, una's wearing her very pretty baju...looking very cute n gorgeous....agak bidan terjun laaa i was appointed to be her 'pengapit'...i dun mind though...she's my bff after all...it was a very happy day...d nikah was simple jer...senang jer...n it shuld be lyk dat laaa kn...nih certain ppl nikah cm stress2 takot sumer...i think, nikah shuld be lyk una's..simple, lepak jer...tak stress pn kn...cool jer...i lyk dat..d nikah was quite fast...sekali lafaz jer una dh sah hilmi's...hehe..4 of us dtg...me fad shael n nad...it was a perfect day laaa...buat still i feel a bit sad...yerlaaa, sorang dh kawen...huhu...

today's event...lepaking at home...my kazen, uyun bday...tp last dier cm blk lmbt jer kn...so, cm takde buat pape pn...so, me baru naek frm boraking wit my auntie n uncle n my mom...tym tuh laa korek2 cerite zaman dolu kala..best sgt dgr...they told me how's their life back then...my late gramma was a chinese convert....her family was very rich n wealthy...bak kate my auntie, zaman kecik2 g skola naek mercedez...hebat tuh zaman dulu2 sgt kn...they were rich...until their mom passed away....since then, hidup susah sgt...ble fikir2 blk, sian sgt their life...but 3 of them turn out to be just fine...thank god...it was fun dgr cter...salasilah keluarga laaa gk...it makes me appreciate my mom even more n wut i haf even more...hehehs...

owh, nk tdo laaa kn...esk kene bgn awal....reception!!!

2009-07-14T11:09:00.002+08:00

mimpiiiiiii~

org cakap, mimpi adalah mainan tdo...hihi....is there somebody who never dream ever???ish2...sian...dreams add colors to ur sleep...without dreams, u'll wake up lyk eh...nutting...if u had a dream, u'll try as hard to remember back d dream u had before....makes ur brain function as soon as u wake up...well, its my opinion...hehe.....
btw,i juz had d weirdest dream which i still remember n i won't share...wahahahha....coz its soooo weird...some ppl say we dream about d things we thought before we sleep...but i'm pretty sure i never think bout wut i dream..hahahha....fyi, nutting kinky or pervy k...seriously....normal but weird...once i dream i haf dis bf...long hair...tall kinda macho2 muscular a bit...somebody hit him...he was bleeding...i hugged him which i think i never did before...then i sed, sukelaaa....wahahaha....it was funny though...
there's one really weird but i'm not sooo sure wether i'm sleeping or awake....one night i was sleeping alone...my anhag went offf shore..anyways, suddenly i woke up n saw something tall n white at d corner of my cupboard...not far from me...i quickly shut my eyes back n tried to sleep...well, i'm not sooo sure wether i was in a dream or it actually happened...but it felt soooo real...since dat day, wenever i sleep alone in my room, i never switch off d lights...huhu..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

incident wer i nearly pindah umah....
one nyt,while i was surfing d net ard 3am...suddenly i heard a noise..something metal dropped...kt blakang umah ler...i was lyk,pe laaa tuh kn....i was lyk, wutever laaaa kn...then, suddenly i heard somebody trying to open my front door...twice!!!i was terrified i switch on d tv as loud as i can....everybody in my hse already asleep...very stupid of me, din even cross my mind to wake my dad up or anybody at all..ape laaa...2 days after dat, i told my mom...dh lmbt plak tuh...n i'm already staying at my auntie's in subang...huhu....
my dad filed for a report at d guard hse...n he did suspect someone....n very clever, d guard showed d report to d person dat my dad suspected....pandai laaa sesgt....obviously d guy was furious n mad....he waited my dad at d guard hse...he was yelling wutever...n threatening my dad...my dad cam marah n slap him...haihhh...wut a drama...my dad made a police report...n found out dat he's illegal...mcm2 laaa...dats y laaa my mom sed nk pindah ASAP....unfortunately, d place dat my mom found tkleh bwk pets...mane laaa nk campak my cats..my koko...huhu..so, wut my dad did was, he changed all d locks including windows...susah sgt nk bukak laaa...but, still i dun think i can't sleep alone in my room...trauma laaa after d last break in...all dis happened before me went to genting...hehe..hopefully by next year ke kn, pindah laaa umah...my own umah....ammmiiinnnn!!!!!

bloated + pocho2

2009-07-08T11:42:00.002+08:00

last nyt was supposed to be khiazh dinner...since i'm at my auntie's, so i tag along laaa...it was at bora asmara area kg. sg. penchala...d place was nice....very nice...it was drizzling wen we arrived..thank god i wore two tshirt..haha...there was live band there...
d food was amazing...but, as my uncle sed, except for d rice...haha...rice yg biase jer dier gune..i agree, though...there r a lot of food...mmg tak abes...byk giller...makan smpi saket2 perut tau...adoyaiiiiii....
right after we ate, we all lepak jp...yerlaaa,perut tgh bloated...then, suddenly i heard somebody called my name...it was auntie oki...ow ow...malu laaa plak...dh nk stat pocho...we all practised a few days ago...hahaha...memule cm segan sgt...last2 menari jer in front of everybody....n other customers too...wahahaha....at first d beat was quite ok laa...bole catch up laa...suddenly d band made it faster2 n even faster...and at one point smpi dh tak tercatch up...penat laaa tp...after mkn plak tuh..wahahaha...we originally practised using d song kinda slow and the song was about 33 mins...nk pengsan practise lelame.wahaha....anyways, it was fun...owh, sesape nk pocho2 call me...me kinda rock at it...wahhahahaha...
we planned to dance pocho2 at my angah's wedding...its gonna be fun!!!

2009-07-06T13:16:00.006+08:00

d piccas frm my trip to genting~

actually, byk laaa sesgt d pics....tak larat nk upload...so, check out my fb laaa eh...

2009-07-03T15:38:00.002+08:00

elo ppl~ i'm back frm holiday...yeay!!!it was super fun...me went wit 2 of my cousins...popo n kuyun...n kuyun bring along her fren shi...so, it made 4 of us to genting...went there by bus obviously....sape laa berani nkk drive kn..we took d bus frm kl central...thank god my auntie oledi booked our rum..smpi tuh sgt laa ramai makhluk2....tak reti g keje ke diorang sumer nih...me?almaklumlah still tanam anggur..hahaha....
btw, first day there..we arrrived quite late..saje2 je coz nnt lame nk tunggu nk checkin hotel which was at 3..,.so, after arrived, checkin rum...lepak jp..turun bought tix to watch transformers..which my kazen oledi watched before...then eat lunch at hou mei...since we were all very hungry, sumer amek nasik except for shi..haha..next program was karaoke...d best part of the trip..hahaha...we sang lyk crazy until sorethroat...hahhaa....best!!!!!tp kn, seriously mahal laa...for of us added up to 100++ tau..and its only for 2 hours...crazy...after singing lyk crazy then watch mubi...we took d premier seats..it was only for 18 if i'm not mistaken...d osim was 17..since its only singgit jer beza, might as well amek d premier kn..d mubi was superb...seriously, ppl go n watch...as usual, jatuh cinta laaa gain wit josh duhamel tuh eventhough he's married...hahha...conclusion, BEST!!!!!hehe...after mubi, blk rum n play twister....we got quite pretty shots if us playing twister...it was fun n definitely gave me ache here n there...huhu...pas maen twister yg menyakitkn badan2 tuh, we tone down a bit playing cluedo...so far, only me n popo jer yg penah menang...haha..hebat tau..
2nd day was playing tym...we tried all d games there except for space shot n air2 tuh...space shot tuh cm naek once is enough laa..huhu..air2 wutever name tuh tutup laaa plak...uncer maintenance..hhuuhuh...we played d indoor n outdoor game...one whole day of maen2..at night konon nk g bowling laaa pape laa..haha...last2, kuyun n shi jer g maen..me n popo stayed in d rum n watch sister act while eating baskin robins...hahah...
3rd day (last day), after breakfast, we lepak2 jln2 a bit...amek2 gambar..masuk snow world....super freezing -3 degree...giller...my ears n hands dh saket2 coz sejuk sgt...huhu..but, it was fun..haha...we bought d photos...later i'll scan n upload..hehe..after lunch we all blk dh..
dats about it...our first kazens holiday..there'll be next holiday...we've oledi plan2 nk g langkawi laaa..memcm...gold coast laa...tp, wutever it is kene laa keje dulu kn...owh, i oledi called dr.yunus...i'll come for d interview nxt week....wish me luck...
in my next post i'll upload all d piccas n cerite a bit how all of us nearly pindah rumah n me still staying at my auntie's...
later ppl~

2009-06-18T03:04:00.002+08:00

is it my fault???so y should i???haihh...takpelaaa...accept or not???i'm not sooo sure either...but, i think i'm gonna accept laaa....sian jer...n rase bersalah juge...

been tanaming anggur for quite sometimes oledi...more or less 2 months...quilty..need to help out a bit more than jus sitting around n cook..huhuhu....need to get off my butt n start searching for job...seriously...if i take d job, i'll start 6th of july..no tym for fad...huhu...but, wut if i sed wut if i dun get other job??i'll be lyk menyesal seumur idup plak...urghhh....i'm in a total dilemma....i shuld listen to my mom thiugh..mother knows better...mayb something good will turn up...
so, first n foremost, get my transcript..it wuld be dis fri..then, find a job...if not, i juz accept dat job...fyi, its not about d money lyk many ppl think..huhu....
wedding dis weekend...can't wait..its been quite sometimes since i last went to a wedding..huhu...i missed weddings...d wedding will be in bandar mahkota kot...or bndr seri putra...haha...takpe, seblah2 jer...i missed my primari skool fren's wedding...it's a he...well, he's a captain..haha...anyways, it was in selayang...so far laaa kn...plus, if i go alone, it'll be lyk awkward me will be sitting alone n all dat since i dun really know anybody there...plus, i'm not dat colse wit my callsmates from my primary skool...huhu...i know u guys understand...if i haf a fren to bring along, then i'll prbably go laaa...next wedding in calender would be una's...counting days!!!!can't wait!!!i'm soooo happy for her...
owh yeah, went to nilai last week...so, bought angah's stuffs....n oso fatihi's stuffs for d hantaran...owh, i can imagine how d hantaran will look lyk...hahha...excited!!
managed to persuade angah to buy cadar for her wedding..it was sooo expensive..thousand plus...owh, thank god ade sale...luckily we're a member, so 70% off..haha...still, quite expensive laaa...but, sgt puas hati k..cantek laa...suite d theme juz fine..hehe...
went to mines td, teman angah...i tot she wanted to buy something...instead, she juz craving for secret recipe cake...haihhh...we ate there...she ordered 2 cakes...as for me, i ordered brownies wit eskrem...unfortunately, i only ate 1/3 of d brownie since i dun really adore dat kind of food...sweet stuffs...so, my angah helped me to finish up my brownies...so, basicaly, she ate 1 1/2 cake n half a brownie...hahahha...

2009-06-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

say bye2 to oz..huhu...me in dilemma.......

2009-06-08T00:57:00.002+08:00

i've juz finished boraking wit both my kazens...we were planning our vacation wen my kazen blk frn oz...going to genting jer...tp, mayb we all nk stay there 2 nyts...saje2 jer nk maen lg lelame...hehe...anywho, wit less than 200 u can get 2 nyts stay at a 3 star hotel in a deluxe room, play at all parks (indoor, outdoor, n wet), d snow thingie there n oso d bus fare..cheap??definitely...hehe...really looking forward to spend tym wit them...everybody dh excited...me oso very d excited one...hehe...lyk my kazen sed, party lyk there's no tomorrow...haha...next thing we're gonna do is karaokeing...yeayy!!!!!lame dh tak nyanyi2 jerit2...haha....can't wait oso....i guess, dis tym my kazen blk ade byk buat bende laaa kot..last tym coz lame sgt so dh g keje wit mummy sumer...takde mase nk jln dh...huhu...hopefully nutting come up...aminnnnnn!!!!!

anywho, my day was quite exhausting...same goes to kiren...sian lg her laaa coz she's d one who's been driving all day....but, it was such a great n happy tym though....actually, kiren's frens frm jakarta came to kl for a conference...since, they were very nice during kiren's student exchange thingie to indon the other year, so its tym to show them ard laaa kn..so, me n kiren n petet n jimin picked them up kt lcct..then, went stright to d hotel in BB...OMG, BB sucks laaa..jam lyk crazy....i dun understand y ppl can stand d traffic there...urghhh...depressing k...carik hotel pusing punyer pusing lame gk laa baru jumper...aiyo...dh lapa giller sumer org...then, jimin ajak g mkn kt area istana tuh...unfortunately, jimin dh salah jln laaa plak...i've been to the restaurant there...so, me quite familiar wit d route laaa...tp, since jimin lead, dh salah nk buat cmne kn...in d end, mkn kt klcentral..diorang amek2 gamba...it was fun...then, hanta blk g hotel pn me n kiren still dh sesat2 lg...sian jer...adoyaiii..penat kiren drive...sorry laa kiren, i'm not a great co-driver laaa...huhu...after dat, kiren had to hanta me back home lg plak...jauh nyer perjalanan kiren today...huhu...but, they all r sooooo nice n friendly...at first i felt awkward tak tau nk ckp pape...dh lelame dh ok dh..hehe...
saye mahu ke oz...huhu....me badly wanna go laaa ikut my kazen blk nnt...huhu...kwn2, doakn laaa saye dpt pegi...amiiiinnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-31T17:17:00.003+08:00

as promised...bday qhaleef...hehe...best!!

happy birthday!!!

2009-05-25T02:41:00.002+08:00

today was my nephew's 1st bday party....yeay!!!!

happy birthday Q!!

he's d cutest baby ever...!!!actually, his bday was on d 22nd...but, my cousin celebrate today laa..it was in dewan near his hse...the theme was mickey mouse...so, d dewan was decorated wit mickey mouse stuffs laa..comel jer..a lot of babies came..haha...kazen's fren babies...hehe...n a lot of org tua of course...it was fun watching all d presents....byk giller super duper...best sgt!!!tp definitely most of them from toys r us...haha...ours oso...abes tuh mane lg mau beli kn...hehe...tp, his presents were lyk 20 kot...sgt best...later i'll post d piccas laa..teringin plak nk bday party lyk dat..

today is ngah's (azril/my kazen/ kazen in jepun tuh) n fatihi's (my angah's fiance) bday!!!!so, happy bithday ngah n fatihi!!!!!sang to ngah td beramai2....then, got to talk to popo...miss him!!!he'll be back in a month..yeay...

ding~

2009-05-18T13:04:00.003+08:00

i hear wedding bells!!!haha...well, my angah's wedding confirmed oledi...yeay!!!!hurrah to my angah...anyways, me better start buat the list for her lyk i did for my along...details...

wedding: fariza n fatihi
date: 9/10/09 & 10/10/09
time: after maghrib
venue: our hse definitely...
guests: my dearest frens (fad, nad una & future husband, shael n kiren) - wajib datang k!!hihi..

last sun we were all soooo damn tired...we went to jakel to buy kaen for my angah's wedding dress...n its gonna be gorgeous...dats all i'm gonna say..so,we all bought d same bj for nikah...my aunties oso..best laa..n my mom sed kiter pki skali raye laa...so no need to buy new bj..haha..funny...i dun really mind..actually, according to initial plan, d wedding supposed to be siang...my angah wanted siang...then after careful thinking n persuasion frm my auntie, we change it to night reception..juz lyk my along's laa..since, siang will be very panas coz buat at home kn...in d end mlm laa..better choice..
me n my along started part tym doing hantaran for people...well, it started out my along's fren asked her to do sirih junjung n 1 hantaran chocolate for her...then, my along asked me to temn her to buy d stuffs...in d end i helped her...then,tetibe cm ok laa...jom buat hantaran...since we both used to tgk my autie buat hantaran for my along n my cousin, it won't be dat hard for us laa..so, our first real customer will be fatihi...we both gonna do his hantarang for my angah...jd my angah bole laa approve kn wether cantek or not..we'll start small...juz suke2 jer laa..then, later2 i dunno yet laa kn...hopefully cantek...hehe...

2009-05-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

how creepy is dat???revenge??wut is revenge??harmful action against a person or group as a response to a (real or perceived) wrongdoing...haf ever u guys seek any revenge??i believe dat i dun...am i a saint??owh no...or mayb i did..mayb juz stupid n samll lyk wen my sister did something to me, then i did something back...dat sort of thing considered as revenge??i'm not sooo sure, though..i do believe revenge is sweet...but, at dat moment only...after a while, ppl will regret they ever haf revenge..y did i mention about revenge??no, i dun want to revenge on anybody...i juz found dis proverb up there...nice..i lyk it..even though i'm not a revenge person, i do hold grudges...wen i'm mad at somebody or anybody in fact, i juz keep them inside of me...obviously i'll be mad n angry...but for a while only...i do forgive..but i dun tend to forget...i'm d person who'll remember every tiny details wut ppl did to me...but, its harmless...i dun do anything bout it...i dun believe if we're angry at ppl, we haf to do something to her or him...i juz think dat being angry is not good n dat ppl dun even care bout me n dun even care if i'm angry or not...if they do care, definitely they won't made me angry in d first place...they'll try their best to protect d friendship..
zaman mode2 dulu salu jer terase n merajuk n all dat...but then, ppl juz did nothing...or mayb they dun realize kot...but as me become older, i've changed...i o longer do dat...y??if i did dat, i'm d one who suffers...then, i hold grudges...its not good...so, my advice, juz let go....juz forgive...dun be mad...mad is not good...we can only be mad at ppl who love us n care for us...because, being mad shows dat we care..
its not dat i'm mad or haf grudge or want to seek revenge right now...its juz something dat i came across.hehe...well, i do haf a lot of free tym...hehe...so, my mind wonder...

2009-05-06T23:03:00.002+08:00

at last~
yesterday - present fyp....such a disaster....OMG....dunno wer to begin...kinda memalukn diri kot...no need to cerite laa since a few of u guys oledi knew d story kn...hehs...
wuts next??edit my report...a lotttttttt of error n grammar n things lyk dat...urghhh....pressure...kene carik keje nih...adoiyaii...mls laa plak...takpe2...in a few days after me settle my report i'll hunt...so,watch out u biotech ppl out there...hoho...pape jer...
i've been thingking...but, wutever i think, still my mom who decides everything pn...well, my dad definitely will pay for my wedding pn kn...so, since he's gonna be 55 nxt year, he'll get his money laaa kn...at first, my mom sed put aside my money into asb...then, by d tym nk kawen dh lg byk kn...then, suddenly, my money tuh byr duit downpayment umah diorang nk buy new...then, i haf to pay monthly...wah2...then, my wedding money, they''l save bit by bit later...adoiyai...i dun haf anything to say...since i'm d youngest, i juz agree to anything they decide...sape lg pn diorang nk harap kn later on kn....so, i dun mind as long as my mom n dad happy...so, i really2 kene carik keje laa...wen i think2, cm takot jer future...urghh...there's sooo much to do wit only limited tym laa..
wut am i doing now??basically lepaking at home...cook, clean, wash clothes, iron my clothes..wut else...lebey kurang hsewife laa...whahaha...but, no husband...huhu....next in line after job hunting is bf hunting...hahhaha...takot jer bunyik...but, seriously...its about tym to search a bf..hehe...so, i'll definitely kt memane jer after dis...carik laa...hahahahha...

wedding~

2009-04-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

sat - wedding iderq.....wow....top 10...10 down 138 to go...wow...byk lg....my auntie sed jgn i top 130 sudah...hahaha...hopefully not k...tak nk laaa.kn...huhu...a bit of d piccas here....she's lyk sooo happy n sgt berseri...wow...jeles k....
now i feel like getting married...nk kawen.......two of us r pregnant now...masing2 perut dh besar pn...best jer pegang perut diorang tuh...owww......sgt jeles again....nk kawen

gorgeous k...sgt best....ard 4 tables laaa gk sumer us...some of them wit bfs n fiance.....its a very nice n happy day for all of us...famous question, who's next???can't wait!!!!
tomorrow is my ronggeng day wit my classmate...we've been planning to go out since ages....juz waiting for her to finish her paper which was juz now i guess..hehe...not quite sure yet wut to do...but, fosho cm nk gk mubie n karaoke...hahaha.....dying to sing n jerit2 a bit...hahaha....
owh, my auntie's going to umrah...not sure wen, actually i forgot...hehe...nways, she sed if i want her to doakn for me can...haf to write on a piece of paper laaa kn....so i told her, ok laaa auntie doakn me dpt partner handsome, kaya, soleh, sempurna (physical k)...wut else???u guys haf any idea lg??hahah...d handsome part, i mean as long as i ske dh laaa...lyk una always say beauty lies on d eyes of the beholder kn...
k laaa...need to print out something for my mom...later ppl~

2009-04-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

me officially abes exam juz now at approx. 5.30pm...hehe...my last paper was ds....well, d paper was ok...but, i dun really hav d tym to finish up everything satisfyingly...damn!!!!dlm tak smpt tuh i still managed to tersengguk...damn...tuh laaa sape suro mkn nasi tym lunch...but i was sooo damn hungry laaa....huhu....
went out wit my gfs juz now....una, nad, fad n shael...misss them soooo very much....well, it was a last min no plan pn...actually, thanx to nad's car...sorry nad....hehe...sian nad tpnyer....thank god dier smpt go xm td...btw, her car broke down ard selayang on her way to uni..so,una send her back laaa...n me n una dh plan nk go out after my last paper...so, sekali harung laaa kuar reramai....una jd mummy pick up n send every body blk....comel jer...practice una....future very soon...hoho...
had a great tym....as usual nandos was our choice...dunno y...mayb coz everybody eats d same thing kot...boraks2 bout matrics...it was a total fun!!!we all really should hang out more often laa...hehe..
so, my next mission is to hunt a job!!!!well, first and foremost i need to do my 10 years plan..i need a plan...then, i'll hav a goal...ada laaa arah tujuan...haha..i already haf a rough idea what my future would be like....but, i need to think bout it thoroughly...all my options n pros n cons n everything...need to discuss wit family coz its not juz bout me...my whole family involves...can't be selfish kn...mmg laaa my future...but, they're all included in my future...without them, there's no me, right...
but, my next mission is to find somebody...a bf perhaps...hahaha....gurau jer...i really should go out n socialize....hahhaa....me,??yeah right..guys, any hot engineer ape lg...kenal kn laaa...hahahah....:P
tetibe otak kering...dunnno wut to write...later laaa~

2009-03-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

i'm such a noooo good fren...how can i forget my fren's wedding???aiyo...urgh....supposed there's a wedding on saturday...actually they had their ceremony in kelantan before...but, on sat in kl...i did remeber days before...then, i dunno mayb i was kinda busy n all dat....i totally unimaginably forgot bout d wedding...instead i went to my dad's fren's son wedding..burok tol bunyik...anak kwn my dad...hahah....wutever....anyways, i'm sooo fraking sorry i missed d wedding...urgh....soryyyyyyy~

anyways, i got an invitation to my frens wedding...next wedding for our 9802 batch...OMG....i guess i did flipped out....y???because of weddings...everbody's getting married or pregnant...OMG...my batch alone already 7 of them...next is one of my good fren...i like her very much...(p/s: hilmi should read this....bkn husna sorang jer i suker k....but, husna still i suker d most...wahahhaha)...anyways, some of my frens did meet my fren who's getting married...iderq...she's a dear fren of mine...we were close in f2...she doesn't look like a person who married at early age...i mean, come on we're young...baru 24...haha...anyways, i'm sooooo happy for her....n to anis tooo...congrats again n sorry i couldn't make it to d wedding...huhu...

there's a fren getting married in july...yup, i'm soooooooo super undescribeably happy for her...seriously...but, at d same time i felt sad oso...its not like i'm gonna loose her or anything...but, she's gonna be someone else's...mayb some of u dun really understand...owh yeah, i'm always like this...like wut???like this laaa....hahah....

owh,there's a very depressing story....a very disturbing story...haha...no, i won't call it disturbing...i wud say hurtful really hurtful story...n seriously dude, it hurts....dun ever tell any of ur fren like dat....owh yeha, dun ever judge people,k....me????had stopped judging people a looooong time ago....i know who i am...i know my abilities n weaknesses...i kow how to cermin myself...dats y i no longer judge people....life is not perfect...n i'm wayyyy out of perfection...but, most of my frens accept me for who i am...n i'm grateful for them...i won't do anything to hurt my frens...to hurt their feelings intentionally or unintentionally...i know i dun like it if they did d same, so i'm avoiding to that to them...its simple,right..hehs...anyways, even though i really2 dun like or mayb hate d person, i won't ever said things dat wuld hurt dat person...even though d thing is true or not...which in case dat is sooooooooo untrue....yes,i'm a very sensitive person....easily hurt...i admit...but, dis time, its not juz me....a few others r on my side...
ckp tak serupa bikin...i like dat phrase....it well suited d situation....always complaining people did dis people did dat n everything...but, u actually did dat to other people...so, backfire balik laaa kn....certain people juz din learn...wen they're hurt, they juz wanna hurt other people so dat they wud feel better...i guess...anyways,i'm no expert in dis kind of field...
so,sesape terase tuh, good!!!dun ever do dat to other people k...its not like ur life is soooo fucking perfect k....a word of advice, cherish ur frens before u start loosing them....n please dun ever try to hurt them n oso dun ever do anything to jeopardize ur frenship...

new face...new style

2009-02-28T20:51:00.002+08:00

been experimenting wit new style....not really style laa...juz sesaje je laaa....on thur i started using tuds lilit2...juz for fun....no, actually my mom gave away all my tuds itam...huhu....well, been quite sometyms laa since i last used my black tuds...i did sed cm mls nk pki tuds itam jer...suddenly, thur morning getting ready for my clas...skali tak jumper all my black tuds...huhu...end up i found selendang my mom...ape lg, pki jer laa...dats d story behind me pki tuds lilits....hehe...
since i know me gonna see my abg tuh, so sesaje jer laaa bedak sket2 n eyeliner n mascara a bit...hoho...long story short.....my 'abg' pandang jer...n senyum....wahahha...so, i pn senyum laaa sopan2 jer...hehe...n then, tym turun pn dier pandang jer eventhough ade org laen dpn dier...haihhhh...n wen i walked past him,dier senyum jer...tp cm segan jer n takde laaa i smiled back..huhu...gatalam jer rase...hishh....susah2...
unfortunately, on fri tak jumper lg laaa....huhu...tak sabar nk jumper nxt week..hoho..
1 week to my angs engagement....hoho...as usual my mom's d busiest laaa..sian my mom i tgk...but, i did helped wutever i can...huhu....haihhh...last year wedding my als...dis year my angs plak....aiyo...penat2 nyer...susah laaa weddings nih...preparation sgt penat...
anyways, now nih, my lab tgh buat agrobacterium...i did learn a lot laaa tpnyer....tissue culture laaa,bacteria laaa, pcr laa, transformation n all dat....best laa blaja....but, tak best nk kene tgg lame2 nk buat tuh....huhu...i did kinda gav up once....but, i regained my strength to continue...hehe...thanx to aishah....helped me a lot....

2009-02-06T18:08:00.002+08:00

went out for lunch wit my dearest fren, kiren...she picked me up at bus setop lrt terminal...we ate at sikirit risipi (jawi version)...haha...missed my fren sooo much...been seeing a lot of una lately...but still i miss her soooo much laa...its juz sooo different not seeing her every day after class or in d morning or at nyt...huhu...my dear fren, husna....wahahahha....
nways, news flash....hurmss...been really rajen going to uia lately...y??well....one fine evening..after class...met wit an abg....stylo, smart laaa...cute oso...not bad...suddenly he was smiling at me...heh???pelek2 jer kn....pelek but true...very pleasant smile...not to be rude, i smiled back laaa...then,later he smiled again...me oso smiled back sesopan yg mungkin..ahaha...
next day,coincidence, we met again...since there r a lot of people, so he smile a bit only...i smile back n sed thank u (with purpose k)....so, dats about it....
today, tak jumper pn...kinda kuciwa jer laa...huhu...tp takde laa effect pape pn...:p hopefully monday dpt jumper...hahaha....dis is lyk a phase...an intermediate after a serious crush...hahha...there's always an intermediate...so, dis is nutting too serious wutsoever....its juz a stupid fling laaa....hehs....
p/s: una: hajjah2 muh...lepak2 jer....

2009-02-01T00:55:00.002+08:00

its been quite sometimes since my last entry...i've been very malas to update my blog...here's some gist of wut happened..i'm officially 24..my angs getting engage really soon...finally met hilmi..dats bout it i guess...hahaha...

lalala...malas nk type laa...

2009-01-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

a lot been going on lately..not sooo overnyt at nad's...
granma passed away...(al-fatihah)
wedding gathering party...
pc rosak...(thanx to una!!!u rock bebeh...big tym!!!)
homework simulation...

this week's been hectic...thur nyt planning to slip at nad's...we were boraking n baring2 oso...suddenly i got phone call from bonda n sed my granma passed away juz now...it was ard 10++...i was soooo shocked i dunno wut to think how i felt at dat tym...i can't really think straight...my mom sed she'll picked me up later..sian nad tak jd nk obenyt...huhu..sorry...next week promise!!!then, my mom smpi ard 1 lyk dat i guess or mayb 12+ i can't remember though...we all went straight away to my uncle's picked him n my aunty...we all stright to kg...we all reached jb ard 5.30 since before dat we stopped at mlaka for a good half hour...apparently my dad was hungry..hehs....thanx to my fren who teman me all d way to jb(msg of course)...owh, una, u tau sape my fren tuh...(btw, ol good fren jer laaa!!!) we all smpi my nenek's hse after subuh prayer at my uncle's...i was soooo sad...but tooo tired too...can't slip though..my mom sed tdo laa dulu...then at last i went to sleep...suddenly my mom woke me up in a rush...she sed cpt, nenek dh siap dh tuh...i was lyk yeye...i saw my nenek for d last tym...at dat point, my eyes started all blurry...can't hold my tears nemore...it was very emotional....my nenek was kebumikan ard 11...then,all d aunty's help to prepare d food..since i'm juz d daughter i decided to butt out n lepak n mayb sleep...after zohor prayer, i tried to sleep but failed miserably...so,i ate wit my mom n lepak2 saje....
then, my dad after he woke up ard 4, we went out hunting for abc..wahaha...we went to my uncle's (youngest bro - my mom) office...he's running a law firm in jb...we went out wit him n blanje us abc, tahu bkr n n.briyani of course...d same person who we all went to since i was little since i can remember how delicious n.briyani was...hahaha...n yet after all d years, d taste still d same..ade umphh!!!there goes my diet ....ahaha...
after dat, we went murtabak hunting...n oso n.goreng ayam too..fyi, n.grg ayam is not d same as n.ayam grg k!!!!nways, all dat bungkus blk kl..hehe...then, blk umah nenek ard 7+...maghrib n then i terslip..hehe..i woke up wen i heard bising2...then i went out people had started d bacaan tahlil...aiyo...lmbt sudeyy..rite after tahlil we all went back to kl....
so, yesterday was d celebration for my fren's wedding, anis...it was held at tupai2 at kg.attap...it was ok laa...not dat bad...quite reasonable gk laa d price...but, i dun haf d piccas wit me...hehs...mayb later..it was fun...most of them were my classmates, obviously..hehe..went home ard 12.30...
dis morning i can't start my pc...it was stated dat ntldr is missing...i dunno wut happened since i havn't used my pc for quite sometyms oledi...i was sooo furious...tekanan btul...dh laa pms...haihhh...then, i msged una...i asked her wut to do...wut happened...then i told her i'll come to her hse jer..so, she sed ok...then we godeh2 my pc to see wut happen...at last after a while of godeh2 una figured out to do....she juz repair back d windows...yeay!!!thanx to una...its been a while gk laa since d last tym we had pc issue...hahhaa....then i borak2 a bit wit una....i really really really missed my rum8...its not d same without una...haihhhh....owh yeah, thanx to mak una who cook for me unfortunately i dh blk oledi...sian mom una...huhu...una my penyelamat since dulu lg wenever i haf pc problem...thanx a bunch!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-02T20:29:00.003+08:00

15 days to jan 17......

OMG...i'm freaking out...i dunno y i'm freaking out turning 24...its not 42...mayb its too fast...tdp clock is ticking too fast...i havn't really enjoy being 23...suddenly i'm turning 24??urghhhh...dats bad..

but,i haf a lot to be grateful for...i'm grateful....i'm grateful i haf d chance to live til now...i'm grateful i had d chance to live to see d world...i'm grateful having a family who loves me dearly...i'm grateful i'm surrounded wit all very nice friends...even though sometimes things dun work out d way i planned..mayb it has twist in it, but i'm still grateful for wutever twist for everything..i'm also sooo grateful having my gffs in my life...even though i do whine here n there, but mostly i'm grateful..

owh...before i forget....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!hope dis year will be a good year n a very bless one..

una: good luck keje2 nih...hajjah2..hehe..

2008-12-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

i've been tagged....aiyoyo...i'm seriously very bad at dis tagging stuff...i need a whole lot tym to think laa...huhu...but, since my kiren tagged me, i'll try my very best laa even though it'll took me days...heheh...

10 Random Things about faiza faiz aka faiz

1. i cut my own hair...its not i dun haf money to pay...seriously...i dun trust hair dresser or anybody...i usually wasn't dat satisfied wen somebody else cut my hair..i trust my own judgement n my own hands n my eyes....my hair do look ok right???

2. i haf dis gift picking out parfumes for other people which suits them...most people dun really know how to choose suitable parfum for themselves...but, i haf dat gift...i guess...most parfum dat i chose for my family suitable wit them...hihi...i love parfums.....

3. i've never been in a realationship my whole life...not yet...its not dat i dun hav neone...but i chose not to..i'm a bit freak out wen it comes to relationship...i dunno y...mayb havn't found d right person yet...

4. i'm not totally perfectionist...but, i do tend to giv an extra attention to small details...i always lyk everything all pretty n perfect n nice....

5. i love d smell of my cat, koko....dunno y...she's d bestest cat i ever haf...

6. i'm a very loyal person....i'm loyal to my frens n especially to my crush since i dun haf any bf..heheh..

7. i lyk to cook...i lyk it wen people lyk wut i cook..its a satisfaction...

8. i'm easily touched by sad stuffs especially wen it comes to mother....i always cry wen i watch tv n d children r very bad to their mothers....i felt sooo sad...

9. i currently in love wit fruits n juice....

10. i love to teach people...once i taught a few of kids....n they understand wut i taught them...n their exam results actually getting better....its defintely a satisfaction...its a very happy feeling...

i guess...dats about it...i dun actually know wut to write...i'm not exactly a very secretive person..i lyk to show my true colors....mayb some of them u guys haf actually known pn...anyways, glad to share who i really am..heheh...

cameron piccas~

2008-12-24T23:12:00.007+08:00

us all~

d dads

d mommas

d single clan

d kazens (single n available xcept my angs)

baby Q (our fav lil guy)

too many piccas to upload laa.....so, combine jer laa...

cameron~

2008-12-16T19:01:00.003+08:00

brrrr~ juz came back frm cameron highland 2 days ago...blk2 jer dat nyte found out dat my mom's rum been attacked by termites...sucks...penat2 tuh had to help my mom clean up her room..dis two days straight been cleaning d whole hse...throwing all d stuffs n packing all d stuffs we dun really wanna use n send it to my auntie's...tumpang her hse skejap...its easier to call d termite people if our stuffs dh sket..thank god d termites havn't attack my rum yet..fuhhh~
not talking bout termites nemore...talking bout cameron...went there wit my auntie, us, my uncle, hot mama, kak kity and long...so,all in all6 families...my auntie booked 3 apartments for all of us..went up there on saturday...we all meet up at R&R rawang..then, we all convoy 5 cars to cameron...we all singgah kt lata iskandar(btul ke eja??)..we took some piccas there...it was beautiful laa...cantek d waterfall..we arrived ard 1pm ++ kt cameron....check in...haf lunch n rest a bit...then, we go straight to jln2...tgk bunga...stobeli farm...then, we went to park for d kids to play kt playground...after dat, we all blk to apartment..had dinner n maen bingo beramai2...it was fun...d ticket was 20cent per tix...memule everybody lyk buy 1 tix then lelame 1 papan...hoho...we played up till 1...then we all sleep...it was tiring...i shared rum wit my angs, uyun(my kazen) n rafiqah (anak anutie oki aka hot mama).. since uyun had a slight fever, she had to be quarantine...so, dier tdo bwh laa...hehe...
2nd day...we all woke up a bit early...had breakfast...then, we palnned to go up boh tea plantation...unfortunately, ade plak car over turn...so, everybody had to turn back...so, we all went to butterfly park....i touched d butterfly...actually, i hold d butterfly...fosho kiren takot kn...hihih....we took lots of piccas there...then, we straight away went to stobeli farm...there, we ate stobeli ice crean n stobeli pie...sodap!!!!next stop was d old smoke hse...actually, we went there juz to lok ard n took a few piccas...then, suddenly my uncle said lets go in n eat...wow!!!i ate t-bone steak...it was nice...but, i discovered that english hot mustard yuckie!!!tak sedap...urghhh...all in all d bill for nearly 20 of us was rm1700...OMG...mahal giller....thanx my uncle n aunty soooo much!!!!!we had a lovely lunch...then, my aunti, my mom, auntie oki, angs, raqib n me walk back to our apartment...dekat jer....its very nice to walk in dat kind of weather...everybody rest a bit...then ptg a bit, we try our luck again to boh tea platation...luckily, everything was cleared up...we managed to arrive on tym before it's close..everybody bought tea...n we visited d factory n learn how they process tea...d smell of d tea leaves were sooo refreshing...then, we went to d cafe to hav tea n scones...seriously i tell u guys, d scones there were perfect...sedap giller....we stayed there untill all d workers started cleaning up d cafe...hoho..then, we went back...before that, we stoped by at pasar mlm...they all bought a lot of things..bantal laa ape laa...heheh...we jln2 at pasar skejap jer coz its raining....luckily ade payung...i shared payung wit popo...mummy n long bought a new payung for themselves...after dinner, they planne to go back to pasar...so, auntie oki, raqib, rafiqah, uyun, my angs n me went to pasar..sejuk2 tuh we ate stobeli ice lolly...sedap~ bought jagung rebus...yummy oso...bought a few other things..then, went back maen bingo again...tonyte was last nyte we played bingo...d highest prize was rm10...n my mom won d prize...yeay!!!!
3rd day...noone woke us up dat morning...so, we juz woke up ikut sukati jer...ate breakfast..then, kemas2 n check out...apparently, wen we all go for holiday, we bring a lot of food since we cook n dun buy...supposed our stuffs jd sket laa kn...unfortunately, wen we pack our stuffs, barang makin byk adelaa..byk giller buy brg2...seriously..tak muat kete..hoho..we all singgah kt dis one pasar...n we all jln2 n shopping there for quite sometym gk laa...bertambah2 laa barang..hihi...tp best shopping..then, we all blk ikut simpg pulai...then, we all stopped by at bharat tea platation...we all eat a bit then took some piccas...n straight back..stopped by at tapah for lunch...then, straight away blk laa....on d way, we all nmpk a few army's tank car...my angs smpt snap a few piccas..hehe..everybody stopped by at my auntie's for dinner...mknn byk lg at dat tym pn...so, haf dinner n blk umah...yeay!!!

lyk i always sed, i'll post d piccas later..promise!!so, dats about it..my holiday...thanx to my auntie n uncle who paid nearly everything..thanx a lot...we all had a blast...!!next trip i mean next year i heard they're planning to go langkawi...langkawi, here we come!!!!

2008-11-28T04:56:00.003+08:00

its nearly 5 in d morning...n i can't sleep...actually, i was asleep before..then, suddenly i woke up wit stomach ache..n had to go to toilet...then,i fell asleep again...then, suddenly i dreamed somebody is breaking into our hse thru my window...i wanted to scream but there's no voice coming out of my mouth...i saw d his face..n it was dis lab technician i knew...hoho...then, suddenly i woke up...n i can't sleep again...n now i'm paranoid...even one sound i heard i'll lyk alert...urgh..i hate dat...i still hav dis trauma...i need my sleep...i've been spending hours n hours in dlab today...i'm so tired..
i was supposed to sleep in uni today wit kiren...but, after my lab i went out wit my along for dinner...unfortunately d rain was very heavy n i can't go back to uia...so, i had to go back home laa...if i'm in uia right now,i'll probably am sleeping soundly n happily...huhu...mayb if i want my sleep back either we all move to a new hse or i sleep wit my angah....if i hav someone in my rum wit me,i can surely sleep..but my angah is in kemaman...she has job there..but currently she's at a hotel since her kapal wasn't reasy yet...then, she'll be on kapal mayb a week...mayb more..i dunno...i really hope she'll ocme back early..i need my sleep....huhu...or mayb i'll tell my mom n she'll accompany me 2nyt..dat sounds lyk a plan...heheh...
owh, before i forget, i heard a bad news...my mo mtold me dat my uncle was admitted in d hospital...his artery's blocked...currently in ampang putri...but, he'll transfer to sjmc tomorrow....he's in ICU...he'll undergo operation today...god, i hope everything went well...please pray for him....

2008-11-21T13:54:00.000+08:00

i'm nearly over!!!!!!i'm moving on!!!!!!!!!!!

ouch, my butt!!

2008-11-15T04:38:00.002+08:00

i've been sitting flat on the floor god knows how long....i'm sitting on d floor browsing2 n boring..actually,i'm stting btwn dining area n my kitchen...i basically block d way...hahaha...anyways,i'm about to lose my mind...my pc is making me crazy...god help me...it's making d weird sound n system properties keep popping...n it does interrupt everything....aiya...stress laa.....it took me more than 15 mins already juz to write dis few lines...huhu....
anyways, while i was browsing...hurmss...actually, dunno wut to comment bout dat...hahah...owh yeah...yesterday my als cook ikan siakap...n my mouth doesn't feel dat bad or look dat bad...owh yeah..i'm kinda allergic to siakap...huhu
lets make a list...i'm allergic to:
ikan siakap (not sooo severe though...)
dory fish (can't eat at all,not even a bit...if not,i'll turnout to be angelina jolie's lips...gosh...)
one more fish which i dun know its name..hehe
milk (i'll cerry berry n very bad stomachache n puke)

so far, i juz discovered that...i'm not sure wut else i'm allergic to...so,lets explore...ahaha...basically,i've been developing a few things that i'm allergic to since few years back...i dun hav any problem wit food wen i was a little girl...i dunno i y developed dis thing as i grow older..huhu..

i juz finished reading shopaholic and sister just now...can u believe it or not, i cried...hoho..there's a few part which kinda sad...owh yeah,i mms...mayb dats y...hahah...plus, i've been holding up my tears since xms...stress...so,i need something to trigger...juz lyk d tym zat made me cry...hahah...anyways,dat thing was in d past...

owh yeah, i'm in a dilemma...i hav 2 wedidngs in december n d 13th n 14th....but, my aunty had booked us all a hotel in cameron...family holiday....i'm kinda looking forward d holiday...but, i want to go to frens' wedding sooo bad...i dunno which..n of course,wedding's lyk once a lifetym...my fren won't be getting married again after dis...i dunno which one to go laa...help!!!!

huuuu~

2008-11-12T12:46:00.002+08:00

now i know how it feels menyesal kemudian tiada gunanya...
i'm regretting wut i din do...i juz lepaking around..now i hav to face d consequences...n other people hav to help to clean my mess..haihhhh...menysal tak sudah..huhu~ sedih,depressed n kuciwa...

2008-10-22T16:33:00.002+08:00

i've been extremely rajin blogging lately...mayb i spent a whole lot of tym in gpcl,i guess...had tonnes of work to do n yet i'm sitting here typing something unnecessay...hahah...later i got tuto which i dunno wer n wut tym...urghh...then i got meeting for my miniproject which i havn't finished my part yet...coz in order to do my part, i need to hav other's part...i need to do d process design...but, wen i texted my groupm8,she din replied...stressing!!!i know i din come previous meeting..but i hav my excuse...i hav my other meeting..cannot blame me laaa kn...aiya..me planning to go back home n hangkutin gmy pc n stuffs today...i need to at home...i need to be doing my work already...haihhh....i can't poye2ing...haihh...
anyways, i watched upin n ipin juz now...at last...got it from a fren...OMG,ipin was soooooo damn cute laa...cm nk cubit2 jer...heheh....d cutest ever...then, i watched dis dance wutever...jabbawockeez...they r lyk sooo cool n smart...wow!!
yesterday was my als bday...so,i went back home...hoho...my mom bought a cake..unfortunately, i dun eat d cake coz its a sponge cake...huhu...anyways, took some piccas which me havn't upload yet..later mayb at home..hav a lot of piccas to upload...huhu~
dis weekend,me still got a few openhouses to go...but i dunno how laa...mayb later i'll figure out...if only my dad let me drive...but,i'm sure he won;t let me...haihhh...one day!!need to practice more n convince my dad i can drive...hehs...
i slept early last nyte...sleep lyk a baby till morning...wen i woke up,its already 7am...shit...i'm late for class...my mom n sis din wake me up..lrt sucks big tym...d were people complaining bout theur new rules n system....personally, i think d new system kinda suck n stupid...makes me late lyk i arrived in uia at 10++ which way pass my class tym...damn!!!seriously, they need to come up with a better system laa...haihhh...

life!!

2008-10-21T01:38:00.002+08:00

life = hectic
emotions= unstable
feelings = obsessed
heart = empty n ego
brain = fully loaded wit crap (hoho!!)

basically, dats me lately...nearly had a nervous breakdown n meltdown wutever u want to name it...depression...obsession...many more.......

my survey...
which one dat u guys prefer??
desire vs ego

me = ego!!!!!
i dunno y, me ego's lyk setinggi gunung....even bigger than me..hoho...i dunno laa..mayb i during my skool days i was raised to be an ego maniac person...wahahaha...sometyms, its ok laaa...but,at other tyms it kinda suck wen u really badly want to do something, but ur ego ws lyk noway man...urghhh...dat makes me looks even stupider (hehs) n kinda ntah hape2 laa kn..wahahah...i need to put my ego aside n juz do wutever my heart tells me to do..i need to change....mayb i will one day..

thanx!!

2008-10-12T20:57:00.003+08:00

dis special shoutout is for my fren..

thanx for memahaming me...thanx for memahaming wut i'm trying to say n my intention..i really appreciate it...thanx a lot...sorry if u terase or anything...i dun mean it..luv u~

2008-10-07T12:25:00.002+08:00

WHAT A LOOSER!!!!!!!!

saya tengah dalam keadaan yang rasa nak marah je..mestila saya ade sebab...takkan laa nk marah2 tanpa sebab kn...tp,saya taknak laaa bg tau..uh, what a looser tuh laen punyer hal...saya ade dua kemarahan..pertama, untuk what a looser tuh...yg kedua sgt berlainan dr kemarahn pertama....

kalau diikutkn, saya takde hak laaa nk marah untuk kemarahn kedua..tp,saya tak tau kenapa saya nk marah jugak..yela,sape suke kn kalo org buat bende yg kiter dh byk kali ckp kite tak suke..kalo buat sekali jer takpelaa...nih kalo ulang2 byk2 kali,saya tak suka laa...sudah semestinyer kamu org semua tak faham ape maksudnya kn...takpela...biar saya simpan sorang2...tp,apa2 pn saya taknk rasa bersalah di kemudian hari!!!

RAYA!!

2008-10-06T10:33:00.002+08:00

eventhough i'm lyk 6 days late, i sincerely wanna wish u guys happy hari raya!!maaf zahir n batin...hav a blessed raya..enjoy!!

my first day raya was tiring..i dunno y dis year i'm not dat excited...few nytes before raya i can't sleep...still trauma2 laaa sleeping at home...on d way back to my kamps, i can't sleep in d car...i dunno y..usually, i'll be sleeping throughout d journey...but, dis year i din...dunno y..nways, arrived at my granny's ard 10 plus...then, salam2 n mkn a bit...then,straight to my tok ri's hse...mom's side...rumah yg di tgg2...hahah....every single thing my tok ri cook sgt sedappppsssss...seriously...tak tipu...even better than my mom's...d kuah kacang n rendang!!!yummylicious...heheh...lepak2 there pn dh sgt lama...i got to meet my cousins yg god knows how long since me last saw them...my uncle actually has lyk 17 children oledi...dunno how many wives n ex-wives...hahah...but,one good thing bout him is he takes care all his children...bagus laaa...at least he's responsible laaa kn...so,nxt stop was my tok sedare's hse...uh,malu jer still dpt duit raye frm him...heheh...after penat2,went back to my granny's n solat2 n off back to kl...heheh...penat sgt beraye nih...hoho....
my als came back ard 6 in d morning frm kedah...she sed she had fun there...good for her...then, ard 11 we all went to my aunty's...mkn nasi briyani laaa...ape lg kn..heheh...shared a big slice top wit cream wit popo...heheh..uh, me took pic wit popo..tp,not wit me laa d pic....aiya...it was fun mkn2 there...day after dat n after dat we all lepaking at home jer...
dats all my raya dis year...wut a boring raya, huh??

2008-10-06T10:27:00.001+08:00

special shoutout to nadira jamil!!!

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

may allah bless u...hav a wonderful year!!!!

special!!

2008-09-25T12:43:00.002+08:00

special shoutout to miss shaela..

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY SHAEL!!

hope u hav a wonderful life...enjoy ur wonderful year!!hope u hav all d happiness in d world!!